Clinging On To Life.

by LiveLoveLearnDie   Dec 11, 2008


I wish one day,
I could say,
For once Dad,
I win, you lose.

But I can't hold on,
It's been far too long,
There's too much,
I can't face.

I sit with a pen in hand
And write my everlasting words,
"I'm sorry I have failed.
I can't hold on."

I wish one day,
I could say,
For once Dad,
I win, you lose.

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by xToBeWithYoux

    Wow, there's some really deep emotion in this poem. It is quite short, but I think that is great, as the reader recieves one small but concentrated dose of emotion, which makes this poem very effective.

    I really like the repitition of the first stanza, like it was an introduction the first time, then it is explained, and then it is used at the end again so the reader goes "Oh I understand now". I love it when poems do that ^.^

    Now onto the content... The slight rhymes were effective and seemed effortless, intended or otherwise. In the third stanza, the emotion is so strong and raw you want to reach into the poem and give the author a hug :) Excellent work, well done.

    I'm going to give this a five, as there is nothing to be improved and it touched me :)

    Keep writing,
    Emily :)