Dreamland.

by forevertobeart   Dec 12, 2008


There was this distant dreamland,
The one you so cosily occupied.
Everything was perfect for us,
Until reality pulled me down.

What happened to me?
Why am I faced with roads to choose?
Can't I live here in your dreamland?

There was only one option,
I had to bring you down.
The filth of everything got to me;
I needed you.

Years later I think of our dream,
Our world I tore down, selfishly.
Barbed tears run down my cheeks.
Why didn't I let my angel live happily?

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by xToBeWithYoux

    This is a very nice piece of work, with some great imagery and a nice sense of flow. I think you should take your little message off of the end, because this is not necessary - it is quite obvious to the eader what you are trying to protray and in my opinion it is a very good piece of work. I love how the 'dreamland' quality has been used, where it can be everything you wanted but still contain corruption.

    Well done, 5/5

    Keep writing,
    Em :)

  • 16 years ago

    by Lonely Rider

    Well written...

    the first and the last stanza's are beautiful... I guess a lot of people could relate to it...

    "Barbed tears run down my cheeks.
    Why didn't I let my angel live happily?"
    ^^ i found these lines very touching... composition of regret and sorrow... beautiful..

    however somewhere in between the poem lost to make the same kind of impact that the starting and ending stanza make...
    well thats just my opinion...:)

    good write...keep writing..

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