Well written...

the first and the last stanza's are beautiful... I guess a lot of people could relate to it...

"Barbed tears run down my cheeks.
Why didn't I let my angel live happily?"
^^ i found these lines very touching... composition of regret and sorrow... beautiful..

however somewhere in between the poem lost to make the same kind of impact that the starting and ending stanza make...
well thats just my opinion...:)

good write...keep writing..

This is a very nice piece of work, with some great imagery and a nice sense of flow. I think you should take your little message off of the end, because this is not necessary - it is quite obvious to the eader what you are trying to protray and in my opinion it is a very good piece of work. I love how the 'dreamland' quality has been used, where it can be everything you wanted but still contain corruption.

Well done, 5/5

Keep writing,
Em :)