Sleepless Night

by Faithless   Dec 12, 2008


Eyes opened through the sleepless night
with thoughts of you crossed my mind as i write
visions of you having your honey bread delight
many beautiful things i see with my blinded eyesight

fireworks fills the air at the stroke of midnight
rose petals of a flower unfurls kissing the sunlight
birds flying in formation with a leader as their guide
Mona Lisa's smile gets people all over the world excite

you've taken me to an all new height
like a feather never have i felt so light
happy endings never have to be rewrite
you make everything just feels so right

with a sword and an armour I'll be your shining knight
Even with sorcery will i not give you up without a fight
everyone will bow to the queen and greet you with polite
I'll kiss you by the castle witness by the moonlight

I'll be the spark that you wish to ignite
and never have the fire burn so bright
no longer will our time feel so tight
cause one day you'll be here with me tonight

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  • 15 years ago

    by iFallToPieces

    Awww. Really, really sweet.

    I'll be the spark that you wish to ignite
    and never have the fire burn so bright
    no longer will our time feel so tight
    cause one day you'll be here with me tonight

    Favourite stanza.
    Very powerful and cute.

    Wonderfully written too.
    Easy flow and kept my interest.

    Welldone

    5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by isabel

    Your poem is really beautiful... I am astonished... The imagery is awesome and the poem is filled with emotions...
    don't think it lacks originality, though... the line with the "shining knight" is a classic... but romeo and juliet is also a classic ;)

    sweet write... :)

    5/5
    *isabel*

  • 15 years ago

    by oddi tea

    I love the way this one is written. The imagery and the vocabulary just enrapture the audience and the AABB rhyme sceme just makes it flow right off the tongue. Love it. 5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    Suggestions;
    `First stanza, second line.. capitolize i.
    `First stanza, last line..capitolize i.
    [& the several others you didnt capitolize throughout the poem]

    `Wonderfully written overall. This piece was beautiful. The second stanza I enjoyed very much I thought that you did a wonderful job with the imagery part of the poem. Some parts I find to be cliche.. "with a sword and armour ill be your shining night." - We've all heard that.. I found it to be unoriginal, but hey.. love poems tend to be cliche, so I'm not going to bash you for it.. lol. But if it was my poem i`'d probably cahnge that line.. :]
    Simply put. Decent write.
    5/5.

  • 15 years ago

    by Cara

    Wow this was terrific.. i really loved it.. i agree with Sasha and TJ.. i really focused on the poem.. and really got into the loving feel of the poem. you expressed love extremely creatively and uniquely. well done.
    5/5

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