Because I Love You

Everything about the poem was just filled with emotion.. every line well written..

"Every morning I struggle to open my eyes
Paralyzed by old memories of sad lullabies
I have but one reason to stand up and fight
A sweet star, shining so bright..."

Entrancing opening, your word choice is superb and touches my heart. My only suggesstion would be to add a couple more words to the last line, just because I think it needs more.

"You're the reason why I am alive
Having you by my side is how I can survive
And when the weeping wind freezes my soul
It is because of you that my heart is whole"

Awww....this really shows how much he is worth to you and how you can't live without him. I love how you say "weeping wind freezes my soul", amazing.

"Without you I am a shattered universe
With planets cut in half by a creeping curse
Without you, I am a mess... A chaotic butterfly...
Which wings tear life apart and break the sky..."

Great comparisons, this really intrigued me! "chaotic butterfly", how descriptive and unique.

"My breath touches delicately your hair
And I can tell I am the only one aware
That your heart is beating for us two...
I held on to life because I love you..."

First line: I would say it reads better if you switched "touches" and "delicately". Otherwise, this is a passionate and deep romantic love poem, that is so adorable! 5/5 from me, nice work, keep it up!

5/5. I really enjoyed the butterfly and universe metaphors and your rhythm was above average. The only suggestion I have would be to change the "A sweet star, shining so bright" to "One sweet star, shining so bright". Great job!

Every morning I struggle to open my eyes
Paralyzed by old memories of sad lullabies
I have but one reason to stand up and fight
A sweet star, shining so bright...
^I love the 2nd and 4th lines. They're so cute.

You're the reason why I am alive
Having you by my side is how I can survive
And when the weeping wind freezes my soul
It is because of you that my heart is whole

Without you I am a shattered universe
With planets cut in half by a creeping curse
Without you, I am a mess... A chaotic butterfly...
Which wings tear life apart and break the sky...
^ In my opinion, I would change the last line to "With wings" or "Whose wings". That's the only thing that I'd change in this poem.

My breath touches delicately your hair
And I can tell I am the only one aware
That your heart is beating for us two...
I held on to life because I love you...

The end is adorable! I love this poem! 5/5

This brought a tear to my eye. Made me remember when my ex and I were in love. It's beautiful, honestly - I don't care if you don't comment on my poetry, I just gotta say this was more than amazing. Good job kid.

5/5