Omg that is so beautiful. I hope you win first place in that contest because that is one of the best poem's I've ever read in my life. (No joke) :)

This is such a beautiful poem. I really liked it alot and a good choice of words. the poem flowed for nicely.

keep it up.
keep on writing.
love always and forever.

I am amazed the lines of each quatrain blend so well very smooth all the wat through and the romantic content stand out as well

Every morning I struggle to open my eyes
Paralyzed by old memories of sad lullabies
I have but one reason to stand up and fight
A sweet star, shining so bright...

^^I really enjoy this stanza. It's a great start to the writing and really singles out the fact that this person is your reason to wake, your reason to welcome life every morning. Only thing is, that I feel the last line needs 4 more syllables. Try adding "my perfect sun" after a sweet star. I feel like it will help the flow.

You're the reason why I am alive
Having you by my side is how I can survive
And when the weeping wind freezes my soul
It is because of you that my heart is whole

^^Great stanza. I really love the weeping wind and your heart line. Only change I would make is drop "that" in the last line and replace "is" with "remains". It helps the flow and makes it seem more like this person is the reason your heart endures the weeping wind which in turn helps the last two lines of this stanza relate better.

Without you I am a shattered universe
With planets cut in half by a creeping curse
Without you, I am a mess... A chaotic butterfly...
Which wings tear life apart and break the sky...

^^This is a good but shaky stanza. I love the imagery and the metaphors you use but the meter is a little sketchy. And also, in the last line switch out "which" for "who's" and flip "life apart" to "apart life"

My breath touches delicately your hair
And I can tell I am the only one aware
That your heart is beating for us two...
I held on to life because I love you...

^^Beautiful finish to this piece. Truly a beautiful and meaningful ending to the poem. I love that his heart is beating for the both of you because yours has given out, very poetic. Just switch "touches delicately" to "delicately touches" and you'll have a perfect stanza in my opinion.

Great write.
Wish I could give you a 5/5 but its just not there yet. If you revise it and post it back up I may be able to give it an excellent but for now unfortunately, it's only a 4/5. Still a beautiful and great write though.

This brought a tear to my eye. Made me remember when my ex and I were in love. It's beautiful, honestly - I don't care if you don't comment on my poetry, I just gotta say this was more than amazing. Good job kid.

5/5

Every morning I struggle to open my eyes
Paralyzed by old memories of sad lullabies
I have but one reason to stand up and fight
A sweet star, shining so bright...
^I love the 2nd and 4th lines. They're so cute.

You're the reason why I am alive
Having you by my side is how I can survive
And when the weeping wind freezes my soul
It is because of you that my heart is whole

Without you I am a shattered universe
With planets cut in half by a creeping curse
Without you, I am a mess... A chaotic butterfly...
Which wings tear life apart and break the sky...
^ In my opinion, I would change the last line to "With wings" or "Whose wings". That's the only thing that I'd change in this poem.

My breath touches delicately your hair
And I can tell I am the only one aware
That your heart is beating for us two...
I held on to life because I love you...

The end is adorable! I love this poem! 5/5

5/5. I really enjoyed the butterfly and universe metaphors and your rhythm was above average. The only suggestion I have would be to change the "A sweet star, shining so bright" to "One sweet star, shining so bright". Great job!

"Every morning I struggle to open my eyes
Paralyzed by old memories of sad lullabies
I have but one reason to stand up and fight
A sweet star, shining so bright..."

Entrancing opening, your word choice is superb and touches my heart. My only suggesstion would be to add a couple more words to the last line, just because I think it needs more.

"You're the reason why I am alive
Having you by my side is how I can survive
And when the weeping wind freezes my soul
It is because of you that my heart is whole"

Awww....this really shows how much he is worth to you and how you can't live without him. I love how you say "weeping wind freezes my soul", amazing.

"Without you I am a shattered universe
With planets cut in half by a creeping curse
Without you, I am a mess... A chaotic butterfly...
Which wings tear life apart and break the sky..."

Great comparisons, this really intrigued me! "chaotic butterfly", how descriptive and unique.

"My breath touches delicately your hair
And I can tell I am the only one aware
That your heart is beating for us two...
I held on to life because I love you..."

First line: I would say it reads better if you switched "touches" and "delicately". Otherwise, this is a passionate and deep romantic love poem, that is so adorable! 5/5 from me, nice work, keep it up!

Everything about the poem was just filled with emotion.. every line well written..