A Drink, A Drink, A Poem

This is very well written. I like it, it keeps its theme while catching my attention.

5/5
the Raven

Walk through the empty hallways but there's no one there
Turn left, turn right these white walls are always bare
Drink in the left, razor in right, call it my depression elixir
Think back to memories
I need another drink
Why'd I look at that picture?

* i found this first stanza quite easy to relate to...
The imagery is very good and it draws the reader into reading...
I like the last verse "Why'd I look at that picture?" - It is a nice way to express the confusion you feel when you drink too much

Knowing you, you'll like the fact these halls of mine are blank
My loneliness, my frowning face, have only myself to thank
I'm sick of walking a pointless track, never getting to a stop
Sit yourself down
Wait for the pain
That suicide bomb to drop

* This stanza is also very well written... You paint again a very nice image with the "pointless track", the "blank halls" and the "suicide bomb"... especially the last one...
Yet I would have wished to know why that person would "like the fact these halls of [yours] are blank"... You could have written another stanza about it...

Tick tock tick tock the time on the clock just crawls by
I can't live in this place but I can't bring myself to cry
Sick of the pain I'll cut this vein I promise it'll be deep
Kick back
Relax
There's nothing to do but sleep

* The ending of this poem is wonderful as well... the "tick tock" of time connects with the "suicide bomb" from the previous stanza... the euphemism of "sleep" is really good...

5/5 surely

*isabel*

Walk through the empty hallways but there's no one there
Turn left, turn right these white walls are always bare
Drink in the left, razor in right, call it my depression elixir
Think back to memories
I need another drink
Why'd I look at that picture?
^^awww..such a grasping introduction! i could picture someone stumbling through hall ways and being tortured by a once pleasant memory..

Knowing you, you'll like the fact these halls of mine are blank
My loneliness, my frowning face, have only myself to thank
I'm sick of walking a pointless track, never getting to a stop
Sit yourself down
Wait for the pain
That suicide bomb to drop
^^ I liked the last line it was unique!

Tick tock tick tock the time on the clock just crawls by
I can't live in this place but I can't bring myself to cry
Sick of the pain I'll cut this vein I promise it'll be deep
Kick back
Relax
There's nothing to do but sleep
^^ the first line of this stanza was a nice transition for the last line. The suicide bomb could have been going tick tock to so it connected!

all in all a sad poem but i think you will be able to relate to your audience really well with this one a lot of people will be able to read this and nod their head throughout it and think "wow i have so felt like that" you just put it into a poem for them great job! 5/5

Another great poem, love your style of writing.

I love this. its full of raw emotion. i agree completely with minkus, strong ending. i believed evry bit of what you said.. the pain, everything. i do agree that it isnt knew, but i believe you portrayed it very well. good job.
--lovedroughtmelody