Wow. Such vivid imagery used.. in only a few words.

"Shooting stars
New scars"
^ so strong. makes me feel depressed though. =[

"Distant voices
Bitter choices"
^ makes me feel alone.... and regretful.

"Stabbing pains
Russet stains"
^ makes me feel hurt. =[

"Fading vision
Deep incision"
^ makes me feel very faded.. and forgotten about. =[

"Gasping breath
Cold death"
^ makes me feel as if im about to die. very good word usage here.

"No more pretend
Cruel end."
^ makes it feel like a sad ending. Well done! =)

Loved it. such great words used. =)

5 / 5

- Nicole
xox

Short yet very good =]
The rhyming was consistant and the flow was easy to follow ^^ Choice of wordidng also fitted the style of poem perfectly nice work!

Different, and weird. i like both of those things :)
good job!

It rymes!!!! <---dont think i spelled it right DX And it has a point so even better

Oh I love it!! this was so simple and powerful, I loved the format and how you told a complex story in such few words, another beautiful piece... 5/5