You Win, Ana, You Win

I liked the title right off the bat. It prepared me for a sarcastic poem, but it wasnt. I liked the false foreshadowing; it was a lovely surprise.

First line, first word: AGAIN. I liked this word; it told me a lot about the past without actually saying anything. From this one word, i knew this was a repeating cycle and that you have gone through it many times.

At the end of the first line; second stanza; TO should be TOO.

Overall, I liked the poem. At times it seemed like random thought pouring out of your mind. There are a number of spots where the word I or BUT were missing, but this added to the randomness of the poem.

The flow was good and I liked the word choice like BECOME / SUCCUMB. The meaning was well made but took a while to present itself.

Overall, a really good poem.

Keep writing.

Original name, shows that the poem will be about a personal happening, and the emotions that are put into it is that A you ethier gave up or B someone is better than you, good message, now lets see wat its really about.

First stanza:Gramatical errors, "again, back to the...."This'd =this would, using a little bit of slang when the rest of your poem isnt like that and is very indepth with mature ryhming throws it off a bit, the rest is fine, very good actualy, I like how you compare the time with this person or what ever has happened to worn clothes,( i think it could mean all the clothes youve worn but i doubt it.)

Second Stanza:The second line did a good job by giving as little information as possible but helped let the rerader know whats going on in the poem, decietful= good vocab, im probably gunna use that now,
In my mind this is how puncuation works
,=pause ;=longpause .=stop and in the last line of this one it didnt have any while the one above it had a ; which broke the flow greatly in my opinion which was there before flawlessly,

3rd stanza:I didnt like how you went to addressing the person directly, it just didnt seem good to me, i liked how it was before, but thats all that is wrong in this one the flow is still very good, vocabulary made me wince, even tho ive heard that word before.

4th stanza:Exercising behind closed doors hours on ends= Hour after hour exercising behind closed doors, it makes it so you dont have to have a comma to make the rest of the flow work with the rest of the stanza,
In this case i like how you refer to her i dont know i guess it varies.The way your refering to anorexia or another eating disorder is phenomonal
Last stanza:The second line i had to read it quickly to make it work because of the commas but i know you have to have them there to make it gramaticaly correct.
I like how you brought the title of the poem into the last words of the last line, very good wrap up.

Good write, close enough to all the other 5's ive given so ill give you one

I can find no flaws in the rhythm or rhyme here. Not force at all, yet at least for me, enchants the strong emotion that I feel as I read this poem. Though sad it also feels like a love poem I really enjoyed reading this.

Very nice, at first, I wasn't sure what it was talking about, but things became more clear towards the end. In the first line of the second stanza, "to" should be "too." The first line of the third stanza didn't sound too right with me, towards the end: "at what you've made me become" It sounds more right if it said, "with what I've become because of you" I know you have a rhyming scheme here, so I guess it wouldn't matter if the "because of you" was in it. Lastly, the last line of the entire poem, I think it sounds better with "but" added, after "fight" Besides that, well done.

Chilling to the core

Some verses have too many words, which throws off the beat a little bit. Other than that your poem was very powerful.