Daddy Still Loves You

Daddy's little pride and joy.
A little girl, just hoping her daddy would
Save HER.
Knowing fully well he'd never be her hero.

I'd been so scared
And trusted you with all my heart,
To come and save me.
Four years old.
How was I suppose to know
That you'd never care.

I used to lay awake at night
Picturing you with me on your lap.
"Everything will be okay..
Daddy will always protect you."
You'd smile and for a moment
I saw that gleaming pride in your eyes.
I would always look up to you in comfort.

Then the beating
And screaming would start.
She wasn't capable of saving me.
She loved something that broke me,
That broke her.

I grew up,
Never knowing who you were.
Never actually caring.
Until now.

I find you in me.
Everything you are,
I know am.

You taught me how to run,
To hide,
To fear everything.
But most of all you taught me
What it was like to distrust the world.

And in doing that,
I felt safe.
Like the many dreams
I had as a child
With you.

You ran away
From the child that loved you.
You left the one
You'd never know.

I run away
From everyone.
I leave the people
Who know me best.

The sad part is,
I miss you.
And no matter what,
I'll always love you.

I became the spitting image
Of a man
That I don't even know.

You're an image-less picture,
A forgotten memory.

I love someone,
I've never met.

**(She=my birth mom. The something that she loved=her abusive boyfriend)**
*This poem is about my birth father, whom I've never met.*