Someone Special

He doesn't know who he is to me
Or maybe he does,
and I don't want to believe...
The way his childish face
Makes me feel misplaced.
I don't belong.

I sit down next to him,
I know he's using me
To pass the time
And hours
Peacefully.

I know who he is to me
And I know why I don't turn.
I'm scared, but unashamed
Unafraid to get hurt.

I get hurt by his words,
Joking accusations
As we sit on the floor
Like porcelain dolls in a cupboard.

I understand that he's hurting me,
But it feels so good to be
Near him, though I know I'm
Broken down.

Broken down, falling
Through the cracks in the floor
He doesn't hear, only sees...
That I try to ignore
The endless youth I see.
His serendipity,
A fortunate chance
To not fall through the cracks.

Why must I be crushed
With the way he stares?
Why must I pretend
That I do not care?

I know he doesn't care,
He never sees me
All he sees is Ricerca
Soliloquy.