Hooked Upon Nonsense

I'm not sure what this is. It's technically not a poem; I'll call it a rambling for now.

````````````````````````````````````````````

The sun rises and looms overhead; it brings with it all the things you never said. Like a liar you spoke volumes, and like a lover you spoke guilt. Truth. I beg for truth, but it seems that your mouth is physically incapable of producing such things. So I'll settle for your twisted words with that flirtatious taste. At least it'd make me smile for a second. Unlike now.

My mouth is full of nonsense and my head is full of lies. And my heart is crisscrossed with sympathies and shadowed guilt. There are far too many emotions and contradictions steaming through my veins, but I'm accustomed to this. I'm accustomed to nonsense, complete nonsense.

I once confided and whispered to you that I loved you. I'm not sure if that was pure insanity or pure honesty. I prefer to say that I was caught up in a moment that was never there.

My fingers freeze over the letters on my cell phone, as my heart itches just to speak a word. But then again, we're never that simple are we? Secret smiles, broken lies, hidden feelings. I don't know what this is. I fell for the guy with a heart that was taken. He spoke far too many things to me to get me hooked. And yes. Oh boy, I am most definitely hooked.

My sanity tells me to run. Run with all my legs and mind have. I'm attempting to do that. But my mind is screaming, screaming for something that I can't have. This doesn't make much sense to me now. Maybe the future will bring me something that can create happiness. Something that can develop into a bit more love and a little less confusion and guilt.

Because I'd like to say he isn't worth it,
but I promised my heart not to lie to itself.

December 21, 2008
(c) Stephanie Lynn