Where Sadness Only Exists In Nightmares (rhyming acrostic)

by Jennifer RIP Lesthat Hayden   Dec 22, 2008


Where is there a place of no sorrow or abuse?
Here, in this land where good and evil made a truce.
Everyday is better than the day that came before.
Reaching out only in dreams exists the evil's core.
Each time the day gets better, the night-terrors increase,

Sending waves of shock that during sleep never cease.
And if you try to stay awake, you will surely fail.
Daily sleep will come to you then evil will prevail.
Nightmares are a small cost to pay in this place.
Even though it seems okay death does leave a trace.
So many times death comes nearer than it should.
Sleeping eternally in death is also never good.

Only sleep is bad they say, this includes death.
Never again a smile returns when you lose your breath.
Living may be dandy, but when it's gone you're in hell.
Yes, this is the truce made making only life swell.

Eternal sorrow haunts in death and in rest.
Xanadu comes when awake, life is blessed.
Instead of having problems, you go through heaven first,
So once you're dead you're gone from it, you're cursed.
That's the story I've heard of this world away from here.
Seemingly perfect, having sleep as the only fear.

Instead of having that perfect life, I'd rather have this one,
Not one of perfect happiness then hell when it is done.

Nightly dreams of wonder, and only some of bad,
Instead of terrors in the night always being had.
Getting used to problems, and fixing them too.
Having issues is better than everything done for you.
The days may not be perfect, but that's okay with me.
Making life hard lets problems be easier to see.
Anything can happen, everything can go wrong.
Remember however our troubled life isn't long.
Each day is closer to being in a less flawed place.
Sitting in hell isn't worth it, wait for God's grace.

---
In case you don't know, xanadu a word for beautiful place.

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by Teria

    "Even though it seems okay death does leave a trace."
    [okay, death]
    - Add a comma there.

    xanadu - I like the word, now that I know what it means. Haha

    One thing that I'd mention, other than this being a good poem, is to watch for over-used words, such as; never, will, to, so, isn't, death. They are okay in small amounts and sometimes they're okay in huge amounts - it depends on the poem. I think that a few words are repeated too many times. Even if it's just one too many, it's one too many. Like I said, some poems are good with that and some aren't. You just have to learn which is which.

    One thing I've learned is not to use a word just to add a syllable count - if it makes the line/stanza/poem seem too wordy or elongated I suggest finding another word or line to replace that one. It might take a bit more time, but it's well worth it.

  • 15 years ago

    by Dark Savior

    I do like the message behind the poem. I am unsure as to what you were getting towards when you were trying to send the message. It did confuse me a lot.

    The first stanza really didn't grip me like all the others that you have before it.

    I really liked that you showed your intelligence in here, which is something that I feel that a lot of others don't. I thought you were talking about Xanadu the musical...hehe. It honestly wasn't something that I was aware of before I read this.

    I have lived with night terrors for probably 4-5 years of my life and really it's hard to even put what they are into a piece of paper or a digial copy.

    I think that this poem lacked some structure as if you couldn't make up your mind on what type of format that you wanted to go on.

    I liked the message and felt that it was one that you could have done better on in all honesty. I enjoyed some of the things that this did display to me though, the Xanadu one for part. It was really good to see you show off some of those smarts Jennifer. I believe that you should do it more often, you'll probably out smart most on the boards.

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