I think you had your groove! I liked it alot. It was cool.

"Never been so deafening
Growing harsher and louder
Ears are ringing"

SECOND LINE: I think it's too much. In order to give the line/stanza/POEM what it needs Id suggest doing something like;

[Never been so deafening
Growing harsher ... louder
Ears are ringing]
(You could even make it a four lined stanza - which I realize wouldn't fit as well with the pattern you have but.. it would give it that longing, which I think sets in there and is needed more oomph-ized.

OR

[Never been so deafening
Growing harsher, louder
Ears are ringing]

"It's taking over
Sweat starts beading
This is too much
Must get away!"

- Last line, I think it needs more to it.

[It's taking over
Sweat starts beading
This is too much
I must get away!]

- Makes the line more direct instead of indirect. I think that sometimes poetry is quite amazing with indirect emotional boundaries, but this one should be set differently.

You can't get your groove? Lol, I'm sorry but I thought this was a really good poem. The ending was amazing. You did a swell job. It had the best emotional imagery someone could ask for. Like, you could see the emotion while 'viewing' the vivid imagery.

Amazing.

"Silence...

Playing tricks on the mind
Heartbeat quickens
Quietness drowning the beats

Silence..."

^How you illustrated silence in this segment is brilliant, albeit intense. You really captured the image of a person losing his mind! =]

With the details, the visual effects, and the nighttime experienced by most, if not all, people, this poem is really grooving!

-Debbs