Dear You

Dear You (whoever you are)
I know I'm not the best person in the world. And i never will be. I know I'm annoying and paranoid. Selfish in ways you will probably never begin to understand, yet more self sacrificing than even you know. I'm ignorant to things that stand before me, even when people point them out. I'm stubborn to a fault, and i hate to admit it but i will to you. Because if there has ever been anything about me, that anyone has been sure of, is the fact that i love you.
Before i met you i was worse than i am now. More hallow and distant, if that seems possible in any way shape or form. I was scared and i had built a brick wall around my heart. Scratch that, try titanium, no platinum. A metal that I'm pretty sure can only be formed once under excruciatingly high heat. But the day you walked into my life, it's like you had your blow torch ready. and it melted away like butter, or something softer if there is something. And i was lost. I was so lost.... Because for so long, i could control everything.
I could control the small things of course, like eating, and sleeping. And i controlled the less voluntary things such as when i cried and when i would seclude myself into my own personal hell. And i could, and would, control my own pain. But nope, not anymore. You stopped that, you stopped everything. It was involuntary. Now every move i make is for you, because of you. I take care of myself because of you. Because i find my self worth to be really low. But i continue to do anything for you, to make you happy.
And as much as i love you, i hate you at the same time. Because you were able to control it, you are able to control me. You can break me without trying. And I'm pretty sure you won't but it's always a possibility. And it scares the hell out of me and i hate you for it.
I don't want to lose you, (whoever you are) because you will always make me... (whoever i am)

Love you always
Me, (whoever i am when I'm with yo