Distant Heavens

Distant Heavens arise,
Vivid blue skies shine.
Sparkling brown eyes,
In which are so divine.
^^ someone once told me that eyes are the doorway to the soul and you portrayed that here when a guy looks into a girls eyes and can say what you said here it is magical i mean we feel like a princess when that happens : ) you had a very unique way of writing something that could easily have sounded cliche

Warmth from up above,
Tears flowing free.
Sadness and happiness thereof,
Playing a heart filled potpourri.
^^ to be honest i didn't know what "potpourri" was so i looked it up! i felt really stupid when i read the definition because i knew what it was just when i read it the wording didn't register with the way it was pronounced to me anyway back to your poem! you used a bit of wording that was different from the ordinary poems "thereof" isn't something i read to often anymore and it was unique for me to read in your poem

Time briefly frozen,
Memories are etched.
Embedded forever;always
Carved in our beating chest.
^^ i adored this stanza!!! so my favorite!!!!!! i liked the idea of memories being etched it was an intriguing idea very adorable if you ask me i liked the way you put always after forever you were re enforcing what you wanted to get across it was very effective

Memorized your face,
Dreamt of where you are.
Beautiful strides of grace,
Upon the skies afar.
^^i think it is so cute the way you feel about who ever you are writing this about it is very heartfelt and genuine i would love it if a guy would write something like this about me it is powerful to read !

Prayers have been answered,
There's nothing more to want.
For your love will continue
To forever carry me on.
^^ very very perfect and appropriate ending i wouldn't change a thing here!

you have a very cute and heartfelt piece here!!! the words all played magically with one another and it captivated me : ) i wouldn't change anything at all with this poem i hope whoever you wrote it about gets to read it
5/5

I've been reading a lot of your poems, you have a talent for simple language combined with complex imagery and relatable messages. I loved this piece all the same. Can't wait to see something new from you.

Danny

Hmm, there was a slight slip in the rhyme scheme of this poem. You had a really nice ABAB format going, but the third and last verse didn't follow it. I think that was the only thing about this poem.

You managed to pull of a really weird rhyme there with 'free' and 'potpourri', I wouldn't have thought of that one, ever. I really enjoyed this poem, it was short but sweet. You didn't need many words to describe how you were feeling, and it worked really well. The reader is still able to have those same feelings. I really do enjoy your love poems, this one was a bit shakey, but defintiely still enjoyable. Keep it up!

I would rather focus on how the poem made me feel as I believe have the tough critisized the structure to death

I know the inspiration behind this and felt your choice of metaphors delivered your feelings quite well

The only thing that caught me off in this poem is the first stanza .. It just seems different to me than the rest of the poem , but I can't figure out why . But other than that , fantastic rhyming .. And a good flow to it , that is flawed at times though . Nice selection of words , and wonderful description . 5/5