My Death Dream

As I stand here
Bruised and broken
I quickly grab my knife
To quiet the un-spoken.

I'm cutting my wrist
Looking for a vain
So I can slice it in half
So I wont wake again.

I find the perfect one
And cut it apart
This will over take the pain
Of my bleeding heart.

I feel a little dizy
As I fall to the floor
Mum comes in a finds me
With my back against the door.

The ambulance is coming
To herself, she cries
Wondering where she went wrong
"Was the happiness just lies"...?

She finds my note
Explaining everything
Including why I never
Told her anything.

It Reads:

"I'm sorry this is how
You had to find me
But this is the only way
I can be happy.

I didnt know how to tell you
Of the heartache in life
For I dont think you'd understand
All of my strife.

My world hurt like crazy
I'm told I'm a freak
The ones closest to me
Were always making me weak.

So dont blame yourself
I always seemed so content
The ones to blame are the ones
I write about, the ones I resent.

For this I'm deeply sorry
But keep that smile one your face
But if it's ever to leave
Just remember, I've found a better place".

When the ambulance arrived
Mum took the knife to her heart
"If my own daughter was broken
And I didnt see, I should been ripped apart."

Little did she know
I was still alive
I seen her face when she saw me
I knew I had to survive.

So I took in a big breath
To stop her from MY death dream
I needed to let her know I was alive
So I screamed.

I yelled with force
"Mum, I love you"
Although my voice was now coarse
I had to tell her, cause my life
- now through.

I finally took my last breath
Leaving her behind
Grasping for air, while crying,
"I'm sorry, but I've made up my mind".

Leaving mum with terrible pictures
I dont regret a thing
I'm not completely heartless
So mum, I truely am, sorry for everything.

(I need a little help to continue this poem, any pointers please?)
-------------------------------------------------

Really, really bad work.
but this is half true.
and the rest my dream.

Renee
xx