You show definite potential, however to be honest, - as your profile requested - your grammar/spelling leaves a lot to be desired. Your misuse of verbs, in particular.

All poetry is good. However you could turn this from a "good" poem into a "great" poem if you just worked on your grammar and organization.

Bear that in mind with all poetry. You remind me a lot of myself when I first began writing...all you need is a little direction. If you want, check out some of my stuff. Simple organization is all you really need.

Keep up the good work. 4/5