Forever alone

Here i am thinking maybe i should carry on life without you,
once again promise broken,
approaching 2pm your still in city,
there's no way you'll be back by then,
when you told me when you get here you'll be going straight to bed,
makes me wonder why I'm bothering,
with any of this,
too much pain lost my faith,
really need to get away,
why does love hurt so much,
all this time i cry,
all these nights on my own,
feel like my heart has blown,
nothing to distract me from the fact you're not here,
try so many things nothing beats it's,
try to get numb again,
another sleepless night without you by my side,
disillusioned mind don't know what to do,
don't want to do anything,
i don't go out, i don't eat,
all i do is cry,
you say you're gonna change,
i can't wait forever,
can't keep giving i never ending supply of chances,
can't keep day dreaming when happiness will be never,
so much going on inside my mind,
how can you accuse me of not being faithful,
when you're the one who goes away,
makes me wonder,
why you're with me,
when you say our relationship isn't going well,
makes me think we aren't going to last,
maybe i should call it quits now,
maybe then my heart won't ache so much,
but every time i close my eyes,
can't imagine life without you,
when i want to go out you want to do the same,
but go your separate way,
but when you go out,
you expect me to stay home,
wait for you for the next day when you return,
so here i wait never are you on time,
need to do something to ease my mind,
need to numb this pain,
stop these tears that i cry,
it's like something inside me has died,
my phone sits on charge quietly,
you haven't replied to my last response,
makes me wonder,
are you even coming home.
or am i forever alone.