Honestly, I gave this poem a five because I loved the deep meaning of it..they really got to me..
the wording was good, could've been better though.
the simplicity of the poem was the one thing that made the poem deep, really deep :)

well done Azzza
write on !

This poem made me cry and it made me realize that I might never get over my lost love, cos I always remember his birthday and I wish so much to be with him, and all the other things....
I felt like this poem has been written from your own feelings, cos I think that things like these really can come only from the soul.
Really enjoyed reading it.
Even tough it made me cry.
Excellent write.
5/5

So sweet!
"Though you never seem to remember mine
I always think of it that you're busy occupying time
Working on overtime and irregular shifts
Wearing you out till your body couldn't be lift"
That is so caring and unselfish that the narrator would put his/her own feelings aside!

"Now that you've move on
I hope that all your past miseries are also gone
I hope that your new love will always be there
for you whenever you need a shoulder to cry on"
it' so sad that they didn't stay together! Great poem!

"Thinking of ways of how to surprise you"
[Thinking up ways of how to surprise you]
- This takes out the double 'of' s

"Presenting to you gifts that's more than it's value"
- With this line you have to think: "that's" = that is. You're GOING TO present her with gifts, you're not as of now. So, I'd change it to that are/that will be. However you want to work that in there.

"I always think of it that you're busy occupying time"
[ I always assume that you're busy occupying time]
- I really liked this comparison type thing with how you try so hard with her/his birthday and end up with hardly anything in return. I'd change this though because 'think of it' just sounds off. It might not to others, I'm not sure - but to me it definitely does.

"Wearing you out till your body couldn't be lift"
[Wearing you out until your body can't be lifted]
OR
[Wearing you out until your body couldn't be lifted]
- At first I thought that you HAD to change 'couldn't' to 'can't' because of grammical issues, but that's not it. It's only the 'lift' to 'lifted'. Thought you could change it both ways and it still be fine.

"Now that you've move on"
[ Now that you've moved on]
- has to do with past/present tense.

I really enjoyed this poem. There were quite a few tiny, fixable mistakes. But in no way did they really mess up the poem. They do need fixed though. I really enjoyed the idea of the poem... it makes it VERY relatable.

Wow this one is sad. it's good it gave me a weird feeling in my stomach because thats what i feel like.

Although you weren't expecting any present from this person, deep down you'd like she shows some appreciations. You always remember her birthday, yet she does not think of yours. Little things hold the most meanings, so somewhere there were thoughts in the back of your mind, telling yourself maybe you were the one who care most. I enjoy so much your write. Very well done5/5, kel.

Wow! It's amazing, you definitely have a way with words, perfect rhyme, perfect words...
it's hard moving on ha?!
Good and amazing job 5/5

Wow. This is an amazing poem, i really like the way you put the emotion into it, really heart felt and deep. breathtakingly beautiful work
5/5 from me

AWWWW! this is a really sad poem... remembering a bday for someone you once loved.. the msg inside this poem shows how you really loved that person.. especially this stanza
"I never expected anything from you
I just want to thank you for making my wish come true
For letting me spend my time with you
I'll always cherish the moments we had at different venues"

that's a really sweet thing to say... but yenno everyone expects a lil sumthing from their lover that's y we get disappointed sumtimes.. it's natural.. well anywayz.. GOOD POEM! =]

Aw! this was so sad, Azzza...but so well written!

I never expected anything from you
I just want to thank you for making my wish come true
For letting me spend my time with you
I'll always cherish the moments we had at different venues

^^

I have these feelings too about someone, I know so well how you mean them..

An excellent poem with so much feelings portrayed and very sweet at that!

*hugs*

5/5 Ingrid