How

Does anyone feel like me
Like jumping from the highest tree
Like no one gives a shit about what you think
how you care
how you feel
how...
How can I express myself more
How can I make him see
How can I make him see me
See who I am
See how I feel
See how he made me feel

I just don't know how to do it
Inside I want to scream
Pound my hands on the wall
And cry just cry and cry

I wish my dad was here
I wish just once to hear his words
Make me feel like I am doing something
At least doing something right

This whirlpool that I call my life
Feels like I am getting sucked into it
Spiraling out of control and being sucked down to the bottom
Like there is no way out, no matter how hard I try to get to the surface

So like so many times in my life, the way I learn to deal..I pretend
I smile, I laugh and I say everything is all right
DAMMIT IT IS NOT ALLRIGHT
What do I do
How do I heal
What do I say when I don't know what to say?
How do I get out???
I just do....