A mystery behind an empty glass

Every waking moment that i stay on this earth
i question my exsistence
i dream of malice things
killing,suicide,
it's nothing but a gruesome image behind the mirror that shows my reflection

i'm tired of everything
people leaving me
people hating me for who i am
i wish death upon them yet i does'nt come

is it life's choice to choose whether i die?
no it's not

if i wanted to end my misery
i'd take a knife and slit my throat
yet i don't

I just keep
sitting in a corner
with the razor of my insanity next to my side
watching the blood seep down my fist

Do i like the pain i feel?
or am i really just twisted?
i have no idea what the monkey nuts i am
but i'm tired of always going through everyday with tears running down my face

hopefully one day all of this bull will change
if it does'nt then oh well!
i'll just end my life and join the poeple i miss