Walking Through a Graveyard.

by Courageous Dreamer   Dec 29, 2008


[Written for a image contest based off of this image;
http://www.theplayland.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/graveyard-x2.jpg]

Walking through a graveyard encompassed by darkness,
I follow a narrow strip of light showing me the way.
The chilly wind sways angrily sending shivers down my spine,
obscure shadows engulf my weak body with envy and despair,
leaving me petrified with every hesitant step I take.

Quietly I proceed with caution increasing the length in my stride,
hoping not to disturb the dead as they enjoy their tranquility.
Attentive eyes open wide show nothing but worrisome thoughts,
feeling faint as my heart sinks to the bottom of an empty stomach.
Struggling for much needed oxygen, lungs desperate for air to breathe.

A tall dark shadow appears in front of me as gasp for air, yet I choke,
knees immediately struggle to stand, body feeling like a fragile statue.
Ready to collapse within seconds from such a severe level of fear,
arid throat murmurs a shriek that echos through the graveyard,
sending shock waves through the silence and peace.

Without a ounce of thought I turn my stiff neck to look behind me,
I see nothing but pitch black, I hear nothing but pure silence.
Completely numb and at loss for words I begin to sprint to the exit,
my heart aching in pain like someone stabbed me with a sharp dagger
pounding within my chest with every abnormal beat; finally I escape.

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by Teria

    "Attentive eyes open wide show nothing but worrisome thoughts,"
    [Attentive eyes opened wide show nothing but worrisome thoughts,]
    OR
    [Attentive eyes open wide showing nothing but worrisome thoughts,]
    -grammical speaking, that is.

    "A tall dark shadow appears in front of me as gasp for air, yet I choke,"
    [A tall dark shadow appears in front of me as I gasp for air, yet I choke,]
    OR
    [A tall dark shadow appears in front of me, gasping for air, Yet I choke,]

    I really enjoy this poem. It's relatable to everyone in some way. The emotion/meaning to it is what catches my attention. You do have GREAT word choice and imagery here. A few grammical errors, but overall it's a decent piece. Very well written.

  • 15 years ago

    by Blissful

    "I follow a narrow strip of lightness showing me the way."
    ^I dont think "lightness" made sense here. Just "light" sounds better.

    "hoping not to disturb the dead as they enjoy their peacefulness"
    ^I didnt like "peacefulness" Try "tranquility"

    "A tall dark shadow appears in front of me as gasp for air, yet I choke,"
    ^WOW. Loved it!

    "sending shock waves through the silence and peacefulness."
    ^Still dont like "peacefulness" Just try "peace"

    "I see nothing but pitch black, I hear nothing but pure silence."
    ^I loved the repitition here...very effective. :]

    Wow Temps this was so different for you and you did so well with it! The descritptions were haunting and eerie and I felt as if I was experiancing this with you. I liked how you didnt say what was it that caused her fear and left it as a mystery for the reader to come up with their own idea of what happened. You left it to the imagination...well done! You didnt use a lot of complex words here which sometimes overwhelm the poem. The flow was great and your choice of words complimented everything.

    Well done!
    I really enjoyed it.
    Good luck in the contest. :]
    *5/5*

  • 15 years ago

    by Crystal Rose Blooming

    Chilling ^-^ You have inspired me to try and give it a go.
    Wonderful job Temps good luck

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