The fall seems endless at this point
I have yet to settle my heart on one path
I do not know if I should leave
or let you go so we could both move on
For the past two years we have been together
We went to heaven and then to hell and back and forth
For months we were fighting
I cheated because I thought you did not love me anymore
Being lonely scares the hell out of me
Especially being with out you scares me half to death
I apologized soooooooo many times
I even tried to kill myself because I felt so guilty
I spent seven days in a psychiatric hospital
Having everyone in that place telling me to forget you
They put me on Prozac to try and ease my severe depression
I still called you almost every night
To hear your voice, and to apologize again
After I left I spent months, hours, minutes and seconds.
Trying to convince you that I messed up
And I was just confused.
But I made up my mind
I do not want that guy. I want my Man.
Squash the "I want my Man"
I feel like I need my man
Edwin I need you. More then you need to breath.
More then life its self.
Pathetic anit it?
Then I become you sex slave. Your little puppet.
I do everything you asked of me and more.
So that you would for give me.
But then you go out and you cheat on me
Not in the same way I cheated on you.
But it still kills me anyways.
To know that you had fun with her
While I was home beating my self up.
Manipulating my body.
Scaring my skin because of my guilt.
Because of my hatred towards my self.
I do not know what to do to make you happy like she does
I cant make you laugh like she does
Because you do not find me amusing
I cant even seduce you because......
I do not even know why. I thought i was seductive towards you.
I cant grab your butt like you like it because...
I did that all the time before and you told me to stop.
I can not help you stop fighting
The images of me and the other guy out of your head
Thats your mental battle
I have my own mental battle to go through
I have to now also convince my self that the girl is not better
Even though you admitted that she was.
I have to convince my self that you want me and not her.
God only knows if thats true. :'(
Everybody screams at us and says we shouldn't be together
As much as I want to tell them "Try and leave the one you love
Tell me, is it soo easy like you say it is?"
Be addicted to a person the way I am, and then tell me if its easy
If it is. Please tell me how. My love for Edwin has me stuck.
Slammed and stuck in the middle between what I need,
And what everyone says I need.
We've been through some crazy things this past couple of months
That has me questioning whether I should fight more for "Us"
Or Should I give up hope and move on with my life.
And start the getting through the withdrawal section of...
"Getting over an Addiction"
I need your help on making my decision Edwin
I need to know if you want to make this work
If your willing to let everyone be mad at us for a while
So we can be together,
And be the couple we always wanted to be
