Adolescence

I loved this piece. It had a strong energy that I picked up quickly. I think this would be awesome as a spoken word piece. Maybe you should try it sometime. :) nice job
5.5

"What does it mean to be a teen, alone,
Without a place to go, without a dream;
To be stuck in youth but considered grown;
To be a player with a lack of team?"

This opening really struck me and had me wondering the same thing, the question really had me thinking and kept me reading.

"Controlled I am, but to remain quiet
Has become a task I have yet to pass;
My thoughts rebel, my mind is in riot.
Through peace's door does turbulence trespass."

I really like the flow and rhyme in this piece, very easy to read and smooth.

"I resume my growth away from the sun,
Away from the warmth, away from the truth;
But as I gain height, closer I become
To the harsh truth: I'm no longer a youth."

I felt like there were a bit too many filler words here, but otherwise this was all so well described.

"So this reality I must confront,
Not as a child but as a young adult."

I thought the ending was a bit short, I was expecting more, but it clearly stated the way you feel and your words speak much truth.

4/5 from me, a thoughtful write.

Take care and God bless you, Child of God!

~MaryAnne

"What does it mean to be a teen, alone,
Without a place to go, without a dream;
To be stuck in youth but considered grown;
To be a player with a lack of team?"

^This was a great start to your poem, hitting exactly what you were aiming for head on. You didn't need to throw in any sort of fancy words before you got to exactly what you wanted. The questions you asked were great, and makes the audience themselves ask the same questions. Whether as themselves or imagining what it's like to be you.

"Controlled I am, but to remain quiet
Has become a task I have yet to pass;
My thoughts rebel, my mind is in riot.
Through peace's door does turbulence trespass."

^You were able to clearly display your distress here. From the simple metaphors you used in the third and fourth line you could tell you didn't know what you were doing and clumsily just trying to go with the flow.

"I resume my growth away from the sun,
Away from the warmth, away from the truth;
But as I gain height, closer I become
To the harsh truth: I'm no longer a youth."

^The rhymes here stood out more and the flow was more complete, if not still a little shaky. You were able to move from being a teenager to a young adult, and what surprised me more was that there were still two lines left. Most people would have already ended their poem at this point.

"So this reality I must confront,
Not as a child but as a young adult."

^This was a great ending nonetheless~ (; I love how you related again to the problems you were facing, and then note how you can't face it as a teen anymore, thrash around and cry about being misunderstood. You talk about how becoming older seems frightening, the responsibility. A well written poem overall, there were some words that were a bit odd, but overall it was good. :D

Well written, I liked the flow and rhythm of this piece. Overall it was a very good, but could've been a bit better with less of the filler words in my opinion. Keep up the hard dedicated work and I'm sure you'll shine in no time. ;]

Peace, Joe

This is probably how a lot a young people feel entering adulthood... i know i do. You wrote this very well, and the flow was excellent, great job!