Hands of time ( Retourne)

by Ingrid   Dec 31, 2008


Hands of time ( Retourne)

Thoughts like old rags caught on barbed wire
Floating on fading memories
Winds of change clears away debris
The essential parts will remain

Floating on fading memories
Weary mind slowly turns away
Old thoughts and pains losing their sting
Oblivion comes within reach

Winds of change clears away debris
Slowly eroding the tired soil
Leaving the earth pure and renewed
A fertile ground for new life forms

The essential parts will remain
As building stones for the future
Disasters erased, forgotten
Swept away by the hands of time

Retourne: A Retourne is a French poetry form wherein repetition is used, employed. It consist of four quatrains (four-line stanzas), with each line having eight syllables. The trick is though that the first stanza's second line must also be the second stanza's first line, the first stanza's third line is the third stanza's first, and the first stanza's fourth line is the fourth stanza's first. Retournes can but do not have to rhyme.

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Latest Comments

  • 9 years ago

    by PETER EDWARDS

    Wow! Some great lines in this one Ingrid!

    'Thoughts like old rags caught on barbed wire
    Floating on fading memories'

    Wish I could of used those ones!, and the rest also.

    Nicely penned Ingrid!

    • 9 years ago

      by Ingrid

      It is so nice you are reading through my old stuff, Peter :)

      Thank you soooo much for all the great comments! xx

  • 11 years ago

    by Robert Gardiner

    Wonderfully Done Ingrid!!!

  • 15 years ago

    by Krista

    This was very interesting Ingrid! I enjoyed reading it. The form was unique also. A good read. The only thing I noticed was there wasn't any periods or commas, other than that, I loved it.

  • 15 years ago

    by Cara

    This was a really well written poem, it fitted the form very well and your opening line was amazing.
    Thoughts like old rags caught on barb wire

    This is a line that i will remember for a long time to come.. it was truely fascinating and it shows great imagination.
    Overall your poem was really great and i enjoyed reading it.

    5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by Joselyne

    I like This poem a lot all I got to say is good job but plz check out my poems and polz comment :]