Internal Combustion

There's something wrong with me,
I'm not quite sure what it is,
but I hate when I feel this way,
why do I endure this?

I hate the jealousy inside,
I hate my anger and rage,
I hate when my blood boils,
I hate who I am.

I just want to be happy,
I want to be at peace,
I want to feel calm,
I want to change this negativity.

I'm screaming for help,
but no one hears me,
even though you're right there,
I feel invisible.

My emotions are a roller coaster,
one that I can't handle,
the pressure builds up,
and I can't hold out any longer.

I need to let go,
I need you by my side,
I feel I'm beyond help,
but I still want to try.

I have no where to turn,
I won't burden you with misery,
I'm lost without support,
for you have no patience with me.

If only you understood,
the chaos hurting me inside,
I want to cry in frustration,
because I'm left with no solution.