New Years Eve

This poem made me smile a lot. I absolutely adored it. From beginning to end. The only problems I found through-out it were comma errors. If you're going to do something like 'the rabbit and the bear' or 'medicine and vapors' you don't need commas after the first word, you don't need them at all. Most of time. In the cases through-out the poem you don't. And, it throws it off a bit. Not enough to mess up the poem though.

Well written. (: Loved it!

Wow this poem totally blew me away. I must say that you have creatively crafted this poem going through the past and looking through the future.

Maybe we should take a second glance
To see that everything gets another chance
Buried deep in the universal mind, and soul
Is at least the illusion of purpose, and goal

^^^ I love ths stanza. Yes indeed everything deserve a second chance
It's the goal that matters, if we were to
fall that doesn't mean that we can't get up and try again.If we have the determination
we will try and try again until we suceed

Overall i think you have penned down a beautiful poem, also letting the readers
reminisce back at the year.

Excellent Job
5/5

I found that there was a color to this poem -- which I can't say for all poems -- it was golden. I found no specific atmosphere, nor mood, just that the concept itself was gold; something grand, something that Wordsworth probably talked about once upon a time...

Stanza 1:
First line, bang! nostalgia. It's like Silent Night, except for New Years. Reminiscing -- that word is bound to bring that poignant, forlorn emotion to any reader. Second and third line, I like the misleading, especially the "deceive/Ourselves" bit. See, if you put that in one line, it might have displeased me -- readers don't like it when writers say we deceived ourselves. But this way, it's a vague surprise, and it's charming, too. Brought a little smile to my lips. Fourth line, a good way to end a first stanza. Instead of concluding your idea, you opened up the poem, beckoning the reader to keep reading. One rhythm problem there, though, at"old new". Both last syllables are accented, thus a small flaw on the flow, but not too important. I'm focusing on the concept, not the rhythm here.

Stanza 2:
Another good first line, one that gives a suggestion. Second line, last word: typo? Is it supposed to be chance instead of change? Wonderful 3rd and 4th line, steady flow, good rhyme, and most of all, there's the color! Universal, mind, soul, illusion, purpose, goal... Put together, what do I see? The Renaissance, the Golden Age, the glory of Ancient Rome, all mashed up together into a poem! We are together, we are one; it's philosophically beautiful! Just the "at least" there that you might want to look into; it weighs the poem down. It's like, you want to fly, you want to soar, but there's a little voice saying "no you can't". I understand what you're trying to say, but... try something other than "at least".

3rd Stanza:
I didn't really understand the meaning, nor the purpose of this stanza. I'll just say that it's better to say two thousand AND eight/nine. You might have deleted that word to soften the flow, but it sounds fine because it's already imprinted into our minds. it's like a minisyllable that doesn't count in rhythm, so it's fine if you add it. And I love the last line, golden again, even if I don't completely grasp the meaning.

4th stanza:
Strong 2nd line, but weak ending. It felt like a personal ending, and one too humble. I'm not sure what to make of that...

Overall, good poem. Conceptually, it was strong and I felt that you definitely had something to say. Keep writing!