Oh my goodness Lexie! This is so emotional it is unbelievable! You can feel the confusion as you read it, feel the undescribable emotions unravelling themselves around you...
Some people will probably comment and say this is a ramble, but I think this is what true poetry is - an expression of feelings - and you have nailed this. Intended or unintended, by expressing these feelings you have made a beautiful write, well done :)
Ooh, one thing. Near the middle, you mention 'the dairy of life'. Is it meant to be dairy, or diary? Thought I should just check :)