Comments : The way you do

  • 10 years ago

    by Lune de ma vie

    Everything has changed now
    Nothing is the same
    Everything is out of place
    And I starting to go insane
    ^
    Descriptive opening with this first stanza. I like the sudden impact and how it hits the reader in the face. The emotions are pouring out here, the anguish is deep for sure! Last sentence I'd change "I" to "I'm".

    I dont see your face each day
    I can't believe youve left me all alone
    I just want to be in your arms
    And not stuck in this home
    ^
    Strong rhyming here, it endues the power of the hurt truly which you are feeling. This stanza reminds me of the song Broken Hearted by Eighteen Visions, which truly makes it catchy enough to possibly be turned into a song.

    I cherish each memory
    Of each moment with you
    Every time you made me smile
    And said love you
    ^
    Beautiful. I love this stanza. I can relate and can feel the power of your words. The feeling behind them and the depth of your soul pouring out.

    But now you have left me
    Now that youre gone
    Everythings changed
    Its hard to stay strong
    ^
    You surely explain how truthful this hurt is. How much pain you are going through and the raw emotion of the heartache.

    I need you back in my life
    I need to see your face
    Cause living without you here
    I feel like a disgrace
    ^
    Again relating here, the longing and pain. The question of why he left and wanting him back seeps deep in this stanza, the disgust in yourself is vivid as-well. Feeling empty and alone.

    I want to be in your arms
    Forever I will stay true
    Cause there is no one else out there
    That will ever love me the way you do.
    ^
    Beautiful way to end it. A cry for another chance, your love for this person is so etched in this poem, I wish they would see the power of love you have for them..
    5/5
    Keep your head up!