Social Graces

"but he rose on high"
[But he's risen on high]
- Not much of a syllable difference and sounds better (to me, at least).

Let me say, I adore this poem. I usually end up not liking poems or telling people that they're okay poems with overall good meaning and such. But, In all honesty your poetry is poetry that I absolutely adore. I've come across a few that I wasn't too fond of - but majority of them are just amazingly written. Such as this one.

..........Do the social graces
........See the starving faces
...........Or eloquently turn
............While they burn
^^ ah this is so relavent to todays heartless world honestly i mean people are so selfish and choose not to help others out? what if you were in their position? would you want people to be that cruel...? i love the point you draw up here it is so true! great clincher

..........Those trained to kill
.............Have social skill
.............While the forlorn
.............Await their scorn
^^interesting word choice : ) it was nice to read i was intrigued by the concepts here People who get away with murder do posses some type of skill i dont think i have ever viewed it in that type of light You make the reader look and think about things differently !

............They did crucify
,,,,,,,,,,,,A social butterfly
...........But He rose on high
............Never more to die
^^ ah i love this stanza : ) it pertains to my religion and i hold my religion close to me so i find this stanza just amazing! you are right we do die physically but eternally with Jesus we will NEVER perish

............What a social grace
..........That He took our place
.........Tortured for all sinners
........So losers could be winners
^^ a very sutle way to put it at the end i enjoyed that you could have used some fancy worded line for the closing but i think it was effective to just state it black and white simply it made more of an impact because i was expecting that complex response

great job with this piece! 5/5

It seemed a little forced. but don't trust me i havent been writing long enough to critique well