I'm really sick of being what I am

She said she'll marry me only 4 months ago.
Now she's saying that she'll try to marry me only.

I asked her a promise now , marry me only . won't you ?
She said that I don't wanna give cox I'm afraid what if I can't keep that promise.

I said, what ?If you really love me you wouldn't have said like this.
I can give you that promise . I will never get married if my bride isn't you.

She said , why are you thinking about the future ?
be happy in the present.
I said , I can't cox i've wanted you in my past. still wanting you in my present . and will want you till i die.

She said. My mom's finding a boy who suits with me.
Please wish she would never find out.

I said . wish ?? if every wish could come true.
Then we wouldn't have this far away.
Why can't you just give me that promise ?
I don't know what the hell is happening to me.

I still love you, still cared about you knowing that you're not going to marry me only.
I'm really sick of being who I am.