Shooting Stars

by oddi tea   Jan 7, 2009


Once upon a long time ago
As you and me sat in the snow
You taught me this silly game
Although I thought it was lame

A long time ago you told me
In a whisper that love could see
That if I counted twinkling stars
And ignored the past of my scars

The game you said, was amazing
For the times I was left waiting
Simply counting a star
And he would come, no matter how far

But when I needed him the most
I made it to fourty almost
Finally this silly old game
Left me in encumbering pain

With a shattered, torn promise
I left, wandering aimless
So I pull out a large gun
I start shooting stars, and run

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by Cara

    What a clever ending! When i think of shooting stars, i think of the ones you see in the sky, not literally someone shooting them, that was very unique.
    I really liked your poem because it was simple and really had a strong meaning behind it. Doesnt it suck when a guy tells you something and it turns out he was just like all the others?
    In a whisper that love could see
    ^^
    Such a cleverly written line i felt.

    Keep up the great work.
    5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by Silently He walks

    I thought the game reminded me alot of that christmas movie the santa clause. How he just needed to shake the water orb and santa would come. It sucks having someone promise you something only to end up broken hearted. I thought the ending kinda blew it out the water. I imagined that looney toon character yo simmity sam. Way to much Tv for me but this made my imagination jump all over interesting write 3/5

  • 15 years ago

    by NoUr

    Hehe...i enjoyed reading the poem...somehow u managed to make me smile...short and simple but i liked it :)
    keep writting...well done :)

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