Inside the mind of a suicidal survivor....

Looking through the crowd
feeling the pain they don't share
your the only one thats noticeable
as they all stare

All because of one incident
all because of one try
but it never would've happened
if they weren't living a lie

They live their life so happily
but never share their fears
then they look at you wearily
because you show your tears

You cant help it if you feel
the things that they wont admit
as you start to stumble around
falling back to your pit

Todays your first day back
and it seems like your last
for you feel overwhelmed again
as you remember the past

You hear the rumors now
and you simply let them slide
for your secret is out now
theres no point to hide

Someone asks you a question
but they don't say it to your face
instead they whisper it to a friend
as if to leave no trace

Why would they even bother now
trying to help you out
you want nothing from them
they just leave doubt

You are trying to move on now
from the pain that you couldn't bare
but how will you be able to do that
when all they do is glare

Finally you snap
for you cant take it anymore
you start to scream at them all
as you walk through the door

They say nothing
as you rant about why
listening to you closely
as you try not to cry

You tell them all to suck it
that they are the reason for it
for you know how they truly feel
how they don't give a shit

Its your life and your body
as you say with a slam
for your pain is overpowering
and you don't give a dam

Finally you stop
realizing what you've done
you've given them what they wanted
you've given them their fun

You tell your teacher your leaving
this pain you can not bare
that you wont return this time
and that you really don't care

As you walk down the hall
you go through what all you said
remembering that you said too much
beating at your head

They already thought you was crazy
and you really didn't want that more
but you just couldn't take it
you had to even the score

They were going to comment
no matter what you would do
so maybe it was for the best
to get all of it through

You kept on walking
slowly falling into despair
you run out the front doors
wishing it was fair

If only they could feel
the things that you had to hide
if only they really understand
that night you almost died

All they care about is rumors
and causing others pain
you realize that, that night
when you had nothing left to gain

As you walk to your car
you hear someone cry
screaming your name aloud
saying please don't die

You turn around pissed
for joking wasn't right
none of them could understand
how hard you have to fight

You realize it wasn't a joke
when the person staring back
is crying their heart out
catching you off track

You've never had someone do this
you've never had someone care
so why would they bother now
why would they dare

They watched you tell the class
about the night you tried
making you remember
all about your suicide

After all the attempts you had made
the hospital sent you away
feeling better about yourself
til you came to school today

Its a shame that you have to go through this
its a shame you had to hide
but after all of that had happened
this is the only time someones cried

You ask the person why
why must they scream
for it confuses you now
is this just a dream?

You've been away for months now
you didn't think this person knew
you tried to end your life then
you hoped it was all through

But when your attempt failed
and you left this place behind
you never thought once
that this person was to find

You never thought that anyone would notice
you coming back to this place
but you realized that was wrong too
when you saw the look on their face

You start to calm down now
as this person explains
about how they understand you
about their own pains

As you start to crumble
this person tells you why
you actually have a meaning
for you to not die

All this is too much
and you go to leave
but first there was something to be done
a love for you to retrieve

The person that stopped you from trying
to escape your dreadful fate
is the person that stood by you
through all of your hate

From that day on they never left
and you two never died
for all it took was a few tears
to stop the pain that hides