Entangled Firmly In Emotions.

by Courageous Dreamer   Jan 10, 2009


Entangled firmly in a bunch of emotions,
mind spinning in infinite circles, the confusion
gets more severe the longer I remain in this rut.
Completely nauseous to a point that pain cannot
be felt by my fragile body made of glass.

Unstable; demanding more physical strength,
my muscles have become so weak and tired,
slowly falling to the ground, crinkling with every
involuntary movement, til I lay lonesome;
immersed in pain and misery on this tragic day.

Time will pass along with these days of coping,
as they stroll on one by one providing
more strength than the previous day until-
I'm floating amidst the clouds in the mid air,
with happiness comforting me entirely.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Teria

    "Entangled firmly into a bunch of emotions,"
    [Entangled firmly in a bunch of emotions,]
    - Why do you need to be entangled inTO a bunch of emotions rather than in a bunch of emotions? The wording through me off in the way that it was too long of a line. It was as if you drug it out when it didn't need to be drug out. Sad how one syllable or one word can make it seem that way, but it does and it did.

    "gets more severe the longer I remain in this rut."
    - Normally I hate the use of 'rut' I find it ugly and unpoetic. BUT, in this case you somehow used it in a poetic form to fit the line/stanza just right. Kudos for such a doing.

    "immersed in pain and misery of this tragic day."
    - You're wording this wrong. It should be
    [immersed in pain and misery on this tragic day]
    OR
    [immersed in the pain and misery of this tragic day]

    "as they stroll on one by one they will provide
    more strength than the previous day until-"
    [as they stroll on one by one providing
    more stregnth than the pervious day until-]
    - 'They' being repeated two times really threw me off. I believe my example is the best way but there are a few others that would sound okay. The reason I believe it to be the best is it flows well, it sounds great compared to the other ways I came up with. Of course I'm sure there's more than the 4 I came up with that will sound just fine. (:

    Great ending, loved the stanza. Loved this poem to be honest. I found it refreshing in a way. A way that allows me to see things I usually hate in a way that's uncontrollably well put together. Amazing job, Forever.

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