Comments : When the Day Comes

  • 15 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    "Hundreds of miles away
    Yet linked invisibly so her voice is always near
    My arms long to hold her tight against my chest
    My mind calls out for her whenever she isn't here
    My soul weeps with the agony of not being physically near"

    Beautiful wording, this is absolutely mind-blowing and stunning. Your word choice is amazing and really portrays the real emotions you are feeling.

    "Yet everyday her radiant smile and striking eyes
    They catch my mind's eye"

    Love how you said "striking eyes", great imagery here.

    "They ensnare me and hold true
    With promises of my lips on hers
    I bide my time
    Loving from afar
    Till the day comes"

    Wow, this is so touching and straight from the heart, I am stunned!

    "When I finally lay down my heart at her feet
    And tell her true that I love her so
    One day soon I will show her this
    One day soon... she will love me or not
    One day soon... this window into me will close"

    Wonderful ending, your love poems are like entering another world, well-written. 5/5 from me, take care and keep up the good work!

  • 15 years ago

    by Italian Stallion

    Vividly expressing hearfelt love within this piece of poetry, however; I didn't really like the flow of this poem, it was kind of messy for my liken. Overall a nice heartfelt sentiment that was well written.

    Peace, Joe