Not Good Enough For Truth or Cliche.

The flow was perfect. i never heard it put that way, being in love with a ghost, i liked that. this was just great :]

An oustandingly interesting write for me, very powerful and deep. I liked your choice of words and how you portraited such great imagery through out. The flow of this poem was good. Your wording created great imagery for this piece, I could really visualize it.

I love the story, yes I said story, this is nothing more than a story to me. The way you worded it, the structure, it just felt like a plain old story to me. It felt like everything was in paragraphs instead of stanzas or a certian form/style.

Now don't get me wrong, I loved your vocabulary and the way you worded everything.

The flow was just ok in my eyes, I just don't know what it is about this "poem" but I just don't like the feel of it, that's all.

Peace, Joe

I have nothing to add to what the people above me have said except a beautiful poem. another fantastic write.

I dont usually read love poems but i could tell this one was good

"So the inevitable happened; you faded into another usual mistake.
What was said that time though, just makes my emotions ache.
Words jumped anxiously from your lips, it was time to execute my heart.
Hidden habits haunting: "You don't know half the things about me."
Well how enlightening, why didn't you just stab me from the start? "

^^ I frikken LOVE this opening, so much emotion and depth right from the first line that I'm instantly drawn into the piece and can't wait to continue on reading.

" it was time to execute my heart.
Hidden habits haunting: "You don't know half the things about me."
Well how enlightening, why didn't you just stab me from the start? "

^^ I know I'm only on the first stanza but I think these are going to be my favourite lines from the piece, the depth you portray here is incredible and tugs on the heartstrings.

"Revealed contortions of past stories now seem so apparent.
An innocent view on him only led to my demise that held a twist.
Pondering a reply, knowing I couldn't exceed the pain he invoked on me.
Ok. I got it. Compose my face, here I go. One..two..three.
"It's good to know I fell in love with someone that doesn't exist." "

^^ I'm finding this piece to become better and better as I go along, within each line I read the emotions you portray are becoming stronger throughout and though filled with so much hurt and melancholy it's nevertheless beautifully written.

"Ok. I got it. Compose my face, here I go. One..two..three.
"It's good to know I fell in love with someone that doesn't exist." "

^^Another favourite part, it always hurts to realize you wasn't in love with him/her but who you 'thought' they were and you capture that so well within these lines.

"He snatched defeat from the jaws of victory, should be taken in vain.
An undecipherable grin imposes on his gathered face and is maintained.
Frigid and cutting eyes spoke the words that were left in the abyss.
He twisted his body around; I embraced my heart for a cruel departure.
None of these qualities were something I knew to be him nor will I miss"

^^ Now I can't make my mind up about which part I like best ^^ I find this stanza to hold almost as much power as the rest of the piece together, and as I'm reading, I don't want it to end.

"Obviously, my fairy tale ended just slightly contrary to most.
Give me a little credit though! It isn't as easy as it seems, loving a ghost.
It's so reassuring knowing it was only my heart you intended to slay.
Oh, in accordance to all the lies and deceptions, I have a simple request.
I just want you to say it: I'm not good enough for truth or cliche"

^^What a beautiful way to close this piece! I found the closing lines to be powerful and hard hitting, something that will stay with me a while after reading.

I love the flow in this, the words just roll right of the tongue, and mixed with such beautiful content, wording and imagery, it all comes together to make one hell of a read.

In my favourites.

Very well done, I like how you added words for a higher class of poetry readers and didn't make it simple for all to read, anyone who can comfortably fit Undecipherable" into a poem has to be good at it

Your Servant:
D. Johnson