This was an excellent poem. Although I noticed that truth was misspelled in the title, I loved the ending. Being in love with a ghost, that's just nothing I've ever heard of, but it was cool. Flow was good, and I didnt see any other mistakes. Just the one misspelled word.
Keep it up.

Krista

I really like all the folllow.
It had a different structure from most poems i read and write, but none the less i loved it.
I showed emotion all the way through. And it captured my attetion from the very beginning.

Wow, your poem has left me a little speechless. Ok, so the flow and rhyme were really good. The wording was terrific and really made the poem a work of art. I didnt feel like the wording was overdone, i thought that it really made your poem unique. I really loved the concept of you loving a ghost.. i thought that was really clever too. Overall a great poem. Sorry i dont have much more to say.. as i said, your poem did leave me a bit speechless, it was amazing. Keep up the great work.
5/5

Very Good Baby
5/5

Dear Tabi,

This poem just blew me away. I am amazed at how much your writing has evolved. From a teenage girl you have transformed into a grown woman! A very mature and deep writing, I am truly impressed, dear girl!

*applauding*

Hugs,

5/5 Ingrid

Wow this was really good, there were some lines in here that i just absolutely loved! but the emotion was really good and i loved your word choice. great ending by the way! 5/5

"So, the inevitable happened, you faded into another unusual mistake."
[So the inevitable happened, you faded into another unusual mistake.]
- There's no need for TWO commas there, so (plus the rest before the comma) is part of the introduction to the line. Also, 'unusual' - it sounds to me by reading the poem that it's not unusual for the emotional boundries to be felt by the writer. There's even proof backing it up in the next line; was said THAT TIME though. So, why unusual instead of usual?

"Well, how enlightening. Why didn't you just stab me from the start?"
[Well how enlightening, why didn't you just stab me from the start?]
- I think it's better as one line, one question, one ending to the stanza.

""It's good to know I feel in love with someone that doesn't exist.""
[It's good to know I FELL in love with someone that doesn't exist]
- Good lines. Just make sure they're written correctly. (:

"An undecipherable grin imposes on his composed face and is maintained."
- It bothers the crap out of me that you have imposes and composed in the same line. They're too close sounding. You can set the emotional boundries in this line the same way in a different way. I'd suggest mixing it up a bit. There's many ways you could do so.

"Twisted his body around. Embracing my heart for a heartless departure"
- Why two sentences? What does it do for the line? Nothing to me. I'd suggest making it one, makes it less likely to catch attention. If changed they can read right on through.

"Give me a little credit though! It isn't as easy as it seems, loving a ghost."
- Good example of two sentences.

Bad example of two sentences:
"I want you just to say it. I'm not good enough for truth or cliche."
[I want you to say it: I'm not good enough for truth or cliche]
- I love this line, completely adore it. But, it needs to be corrected in a bad way

The poem is well written. I don't understand your overdose on two sentences constantly. Sometimes that's okay, to add emphasis and stuff like that. But too much emphasis is a bad thing, darling. It's the truth, eh

Great poem though. Enjoyed the ending. And, the meaning to it!

"So the inevitable happened, you faded into another usual mistake."
I love this first line. It really caught my attention and made me want to read more.

I really loved this. It contains a constant good fluency, and you have an amazing word choice in this poem. I think You did really well in choosing your words with more complexity. A lot of these words evoked more emotion and feeling.

I love that there is so much emotion in it, but to me it seems very subtle in the way that you worded it. I think it's very clever.

"Revealed contortions of past stories now seem so apparent.
An innocent view on him only led to my demise that held a twist.
Pondering a reply, knowing I couldn't exceed the pain he invoked on me.
Ok. I got it. Compose my face, here I go. One..two..three.
"It's good to know I fell in love with someone that doesn't exist."

^I really loved this stanza. The way you worded it is just beautiful.
I think that this is a wonderful poem and it is awesome. You did a really great job on this. It's full of love yet saddness and anger. Again your word choice was very good. Keep it up. Amazing work. 5/5

I like the fact that the poem seems to be the dialogue with your ex (im assuming). it was like i read your thoughts that went through your head at the moment that you said It's good to know I fell in love with someone that doesn't exist. it was definetly the climax.
also i noticed how sophisticated your language is. it ads a special edge to it but at time it is a tad confusing for me (maybe im slow lol)

HS

I really like the whole ghost concept, and I love the words you use. Good job!
5/5

I liked the fact that this poem does not have the "usual" stanza's that most poems have. At first it appeared overwhelming; however, once I began to read it I was quickly drawn in.

The twist at the end was exceptional and by all means very much appreciated. However, I must say that there is a part of me that is still in love with a ghost from my past and in some way I fear shall always be.

You descriptions were very vivid and pains a clear imagery for the reader. I like the fact that no only are the words crystal, but so is the move in my mind.

Over all I think that you have done a wonderful job.

Title - I was really amused by your title, I just wanted to jump into your poem but had others to comment before yours, loll. But here and I am and ready to read :] Yaay!

"So the inevitable happened, you faded into another usual mistake."
`Okay, wow. For one, what a mind-blowing way to start a piece. The way you worded this was just superb, inevitable - well done my dear. Great vocabulary, I'm already enjoying your word choice! :] Great opening line, youve interested me more than I can even tell you.

"What was said that time though, just makes my emotions ache."
`Wow, I'm just totally speechless. I have never heard of something so unique to say.. "my emotions ache" never in my life, have I heard that.. youve really outdone yourself here.

"Words jumped anxiously from your lips, it was time to execute my heart."
`I really don't have the words, your word choice is flawless, and inserted perfectly. Anxiously was perfect.. and jumped.. they fit together absolutely perfectly! :] Well done.. woow. I'm lost within your words.

"Ok. I got it. Compose my face, here I go. One..two..three."
`Your poem is soooo intriguing! Woow. I love how you kidn of take us into the mind of the writer.. and what they were thinking or whatever at the time.. like wow. Youve just pinpointed this perfectly. I'm in awe. Really, youve left me speechless.

"An undecipherable grin imposes on his gathered face and is maintained."
`Not only did this line overflow with great word choice but it also kind of gave the poem a nice little uniqueness to it. As I read the first line of this stanza, then the second.. they rhymed perfectly, and it really stood out to me, because your other lines havent.

"He twisted his body around, I embraced my heart for a cruel departure."
`Adored this line immensely. You saw what was coming, so to be ready for it, you EMBRACED your heart for the departure you were about to make. Wow, girl. Embraced? Ahh I love this piece!

"Give me a little credit though! It isn't as easy as it seems, loving a ghost."
`Oh goodness, I loved this! How you talk in your point of view.. amazzzzinng. Unique poem, wow. Loving someone who never even exsisted, almost like a ghost, perfect comparision right there. :]

"I want you just to say it: I'm not good enough for truth or cliche."
`WOOOW! Loved it, this line just says it all. AMAZING work, youve officially blown me away.

I have no words, you have written a masterpiece. Best poem Ive read thus far for my Free Comment thread.

5/5.

Excellent wording that blew me away! Your emotions in this piece really stood out, and the images you used really made the reader see and feel what you were feeling....Very unique, and straight from your heart. A lovely poem from the start to the finish. Nice work, 5/5 from me. Keep writing, always and forever....

Eep! >.< Eh, This was great, I'd just like to make a few things known to the person whom I have a new heightened respect for. (not that I didn't have respect beforehand, lol)

Tsk, Tsk, Tsk... I see here what I see in many, many pieces of poetry. It doesn't necessarily take away from the poem; it just makes it a little harder for the reader to read the poem, because it isn't "start" and "stopped" as it should be. The commas, and/or semi-colons are not in the right spot. Let me point them out for you. :]

"So the inevitable happened, you faded into another usual mistake."
"So the inevitable happened; you faded into another usual mistake."

"He twisted his body around, I embraced my heart for a cruel departure."
"He twisted his body around; I embraced my heart for a cruel departure."

"Give me a little credit though! It isn't as easy as it seems, loving a ghost."
*sigh* On this line, I was very conflicted as to whether I liked it or not, since I literally am in love with a ghost, I knew what you meant, as he isn't the person you thought he was, or that he changed; it just messed me up a bit. It's very true though, it is very hard loving a ghost. And I love how you expressed your feelings that you thought of him as such. That's just a personal dislike for me, don't look into it. :]

"It's good to know I fell in love with someone that doesn't exist."
Feisty! lol, sorry, I had to, I mean, com'on. Look at this. The display you showed here.. wow. Very quick and thoughtful on your part, I think I might say that to anyone who ever says that I don't know anything about them from now on, lol. Its really something I think everyone wants to say to someone in that situation, we're normally just so overcome with the emotion and pain that we become speechless. Thanks for that, haha.

"Obviously, my fairy tale ended just slightly contrary to most."
This made me smile. I love the hint of annoyance in it. Haha, this just.. I loved it.

"I want you just to say it: I'm not good enough for truth or cliche."
Erm... "I want you just to say it" err... Try this:
"I just want you to say it". The way you wrote that was a lil screwy for me.

Other than those, this was perfect. Amazing job. :]
5/5 course.

Omg i loved the thing with the ghost that was pretty awesome good job

The ghost thing was cool, different but it made the poem catch me!
well done!
xo

Good i really liked it. 5/5

I really enjoyed this poem ^^ There was a lot of work and effort put into it. You placed emotion throughout each stanza perfectly and the overall flow was consistant making it an easier and more enjoyable read =]
The content of the poem was different to, Iv'e read a series of books with this sort of stroy yet your twist at the ending was very different. Really Great job!

"So the inevitable happened; you faded into another usual mistake.
What was said that time though, just makes my emotions ache.
Words jumped anxiously from your lips, it was time to execute my heart.
Hidden habits haunting: "You don't know half the things about me."
Well how enlightening, why didn't you just stab me from the start?"

= I like how you started this piece. It's as if you expected the person you're talking about to make another mistake (which is probably what you wanted it to seem like, lol). Some very strong lines already, which I think is good. I feel like it draws the reader in and keeps them interested.

"Revealed contortions of past stories now seem so apparent.
An innocent view on him only led to my demise that held a twist.
Pondering a reply, knowing I couldn't exceed the pain he invoked on me.
Ok. I got it. Compose my face, here I go. One..two..three.
"It's good to know I fell in love with someone that doesn't exist." "

= This is beautiful. Your first line says so much, which I feel is important, as the better the word choice, etc., the more the readers will continue to read. The emotion is very strong, and it's clear how the person is feeling. Wonderful.

"He snatched defeat from the jaws of victory, should be taken in vain.
An undecipherable grin imposes on his gathered face and is maintained.
Frigid and cutting eyes spoke the words that were left in the abyss.
He twisted his body around; I embraced my heart for a cruel departure.
None of these qualities were something I knew to be him nor will I miss."

= Ah, this is really good. I like that when you write, you're not just throwing the obvious in the readers faces- they actually have to think. Your word choice is excellent, but not too difficult to understand. Great job.

"Obviously, my fairy tale ended just slightly contrary to most.
Give me a little credit though! It isn't as easy as it seems, loving a ghost.
It's so reassuring knowing it was only my heart you intended to slay.
Oh, in accordance to all the lies and deceptions, I have a simple request.
I just want you to say it: I'm not good enough for truth or cliche."

= This is really good ending. You brought the piece to a close in the right manner- not too abruptly, but at the right time. Though I've said it already, I'll say it again- your word choice is fabulous. :)

``Briana

Very well done, I like how you added words for a higher class of poetry readers and didn't make it simple for all to read, anyone who can comfortably fit Undecipherable" into a poem has to be good at it

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