Wow, I've never read a poem like this, showing the thought process of the rapist as well as the victim, incredibly courageous insight

Wow...very powerful poem..i hope it isn't true i have been through being rapped more than once and by different guys it was worse than words can describe
The unique part of this poem was that you went back and forth between your thoughts and his i thought that was very clever
sad poem but written great 5/5

This is a terrible story. you have expressed your feelings in such a way that it has left me speechless.

i suppose that is a good thing. (poetically)

i liked how it switched for each side. it made it really interesting.

good write

WOW... this was very deep and the emotion is incredible. I'm just speechless.

This is sooo good! Realy powerful. But the way you set out the poem itself is fantastic. The way it switched from her thoughts to his. It sounds very realistic. I hope you didnt do this based on your own experience, i know many poems on here are, so i hope your keeping well. Keep up your work, you are very talented.

Omg thats really sad
but good in a way
its sad how to some people this is really real

Why does she not want it to be her last?

First Off I Hope This Isnt True,
other than that i loved the poem although it was very sad,i loved how you went from both peoples thoughts its great 5/5

Wow well done. you have some talent girl..
5/5

Amazing. i reali like how you put both sides of the poem. the emotion is amazing. i hope you didnt have to go through this.

5/5

Wow i like how you composed this poem . It is abosolutely fantastic. I like the idea where you display his thoughts then later placing her thoughts at the next stanza. It was pretty detailed and the dialogs kindda really made the poem stands out. I must say tt u have penned down a beautiful poem..certainly it was a delightful to read.I just hope tt this incident didn't happen to u.But keep on writing

Excellent Job
5/5

"I want him to stop but he just keeps hurting
I guess it's my fault, I was kind of flirting
"Please let me go" I'm scared and I'm pleading
But only because I can feel myself bleeding"

^^This opening stanza is incredible..I have been through this many years ago and the feeling of finding it to be your own fault is something you've captured amazingly well here.

" know she likes it, even if she's crying
No means yes "You like it I know you're lying"
I thrust a little harder and push deeper in
I can feel her bleeding I moan and I grin

Why is he smiling? Doesn't he know my pain?
How could I enjoy it? What could I have to gain?
My tears mix with the rain and the cement is cold
Circulation is cut off in my wrists from his hold"

^^I'm finding this piece to become stronger and stronger throughout and with each new piece of imagery you create I can feel myself tearing up.

"Why is she crying? Can't she admit she wants me?
What's her problem? She should have to plea
I could let go of her wrists and follow her requests
Then I would be able to massage her breasts

Whatever, it's useless he's already won
What more could he do, since it's already done
My body is numbing, my blood is freezing
The pain doesn't seem that bad, it's easing"

^^..this is making me cry, the feeling of hopelessness and despair and then slowly becoming numb is something you've again managed to capture very well.

"She's so hot, and I want to hear her moan
I push a little harder so she can feel my bone
"You like that, baby? Is this what you like?"
Let me make her love men and not be a dike

He pushes in harder and thrusts another time
I can feel him cum and it feels like slime
"You got what you wanted! Now let me go"
He won't leave he won't get off I already know"

^^I found these two stanzas to be incredibly strong and filled with so much emotion and depth that at times it's was overwhelming.

"She wasn't my first, nor is she my last
I can easily forget her, she's already my past
It's something she'll never be able to erase
She can never forget me, she'll remember my face"

^^ I don't even know what to say about this stanza..the truth behind these words is captured so vividly, and though the pain eventaully lessends it's something you'll always live with.

"I can feel my blood, please do it fast
He is my first, but I hope not my last
But hey that's okay because it doesn't bother me
Why would I care if my soul is not free

I pull out of her and take my hands off her wrists
She pushes me away and I hit her with my fists
I stand and pull up my pants and grab my shirt
I walk down the alley and leave her to hurt"

^^The imagery in these is incredible, it creates such vivid pictures in my mind for me as the reader and is bringing alot of dark memories back, tearing at the heartstrings.

"I can't get up it hurts to much I'm frozen numb
What am I supposed to do now, I'm scum
I have no where to go, but I pull up my skirt
I put on my sweater and walk with the hurt "

^^I found this an incredible way to end this piece, the feeling of being lost with noone to turn to, not knowing how to deal with the hurt, again feeling like it's your own fault, you capture this so well within this stanza and it makes for a powerful ending.

I liked how you alternated from the rapist to the victim throughout the poem, it made for a powerful transisition.

Though difficult for me to read at times, you've managed to take a tragic subject and turn it into beautiful writing.

I'm not sure if this is fiction or your reality, but feel free to pm me if you ever need to talk.

This really interested me because i kinda went through something like this except it was alot different.. i dont know its complicated i guess lol.. but you did a good job.. but sometimes it seemed like your rhyming was a bit forced.. it was like you didnt know anything that would rhyme with a certain word so you put anything.. you know what i mean? i'm just trying to help so dont get offended please.. it was actually really good though.. the concept and all was sad.. but very good to read. good job.

Omg... That was sO sad but sO well-written that I simply have nO words tO praise yOu with! :)

The rhyming, the vOcab, the expressiOns... everything fit perfectly!! The way u've tOld the stOry frOm bOth sides is alsO simply amazing....!

YOu're just 13?! I hOpe the stOry isn't true, but yOu deserve a definite 5/5 for the Great JOb dOne On the POem! :)

Keep It Up cuz I really think yOu have a great talent! :)

Firstly i hope this isn't true. Secondly, wow! I really likes how you presented this and had the two perspectives very unique and makes this a real stand out.You coverd emotions and thoughts so well in this. Great work!

"I want him to stop but he just keeps hurting
I guess it's my fault, I was kind of flirting
"Please let me go" I'm scared and I'm pleading
But only because I can feel myself bleeding"

-Woah, this stanza immediatly captures my attention, and I know that i will be hooked throughout the entire poem.

"I know she likes it, even if she's crying
No means yes "You like it I know you're lying"
I thrust a little harder and push deeper in
I can feel her bleeding I moan and I grin"

-This confused me for a split second before I realized what you were doing here. This is brilliant. It shows
both sides of the story.

"Why is he smiling? Doesn't he know my pain?
How could I enjoy it? What could I have to gain?
My tears mix with the rain and the cement is cold
Circulation is cut off in my wrists from his hold"

-The most amazing imagery here. I can feel this person's emotions while this is happening. I felt like I was there with her.

"Why is she crying? Can't she admit she wants me?
What's her problem? She should have to plea
I could let go of her wrists and follow her requests
Then I would be able to massage her breasts"

-Honestly, this shows how demented this man is

"Whatever, it's useless he's already won
What more could he do, since it's already done
My body is numbing, my blood is freezing
The pain doesn't seem that bad, it's easing"

-I like the time work here, and throughout the poem. It's like you're rapping up your emotions here.

"She's so hot, and I want to hear her moan
I push a little harder so she can feel my bone
"You like that, baby? Is this what you like?"
Let me make her love men and not be a dike"

-The interesting thing is, we already feel men are ******* when they do this, but with the way you show both sides it just makes us want to despise them harder.

"He pushes in harder and thrusts another time
I can feel him cum and it feels like slime
"You got what you wanted! Now let me go"
He won't leave he won't get off I already know"

-This shows flashback and how much you have struggled.

"She wasn't my first, nor is she my last
I can easily forget her, she's already my past
It's something she'll never be able to erase
She can never forget me, she'll remember my face"

-I don't understand how you were able to get into his mind, but you've done it beautifully here

"I can feel my blood, please do it fast
He is my first, but I hope not my last
But hey that's okay because it doesn't bother me
Why would I care if my soul is not free"

-I can feel your sadness here tremendously, very good word choice.

"I pull out of her and take my hands off her wrists
She pushes me away and I hit her with my fists
I stand and pull up my pants and grab my shirt
I walk down the alley and leave her to hurt"

-Stupid mo fo. I don't cuss, but with the way you've done this poem, I very much want to

"I can't get up it hurts to much I'm frozen numb
What am I supposed to do now, I'm scum
I have no where to go, but I pull up my skirt
I put on my sweater and walk with the hurt"

-An amazing way to end the poem. With simple word choice, but with an outstanding effect.

This is simply the best poem i've ever read, i'm being honest. With they way you into both minds, made more emotion come out, and shows your creativity. You're a very talented writer. If this really happpened to you, i'm very sorry, this shouldn't happen to no one.
5/5

This is really good writing but its soooo sad. im sorry this happened to you i really am.

Wow that was intense i really liked it how u went btween the two it was a really good poem!!

... yeah it's true...

Thanks for all your comments <3
Deeply appretaited(sp)