A Life Of Deprivation

**Dedicated To Porcy, who has not yet lived!**

I am a little worried about a good friend of mine
I don't know how she has lived for all this time
They say the English have it good, but I have to disagree
My dear Porcy has lived a hard life compared to me!

I wake up in the morning and can have crumpets with vegemite
But this poor girl is stuck with maple syrup, it's just not right
What is this world coming to; when everyone can't share this delight?
Don't worry hun, I am here for you, things will be alright

What's this? You don't have Tim Tams, how have you survived?
You have never tasted their goodness? My God, you are deprived.
A Tim Tam is not just a biscuit; they are the reason for grins
From when you take the first bite, happiness begins

You are stuck with peanut butter, jam and honey no doubt
You are an inspiration to me for being able to live without
Vegemite and Tim Tams, I don't know how you do it
A life without them... there's no happiness to it!