Revolving Doors

by Melpomene   Jan 14, 2009


I died,
and yet I was awoken by revolving doors,
the least he could of done was sent me
in the direction of hell. I suffered,
and believe me it was worth it. I'll never
tell a secret about his ability to fly.

I remember swan lake playing as holy water
touched my lips, each individual in heaven
was made to die. And again I was awoken by
revolving doors. I told him once, I told
him twice, I'd never let Superman's secrets
slide.

I was edged, on top of a buildings wall,
Surrounded above goblins I began to roar.
I fell, and of course they didn't catch me at
all. I was made to put on the blue and red
costume to enter within the hall. And I died,
in the movie theatre scripted, and yet I was
awoken again by the neurotic sound of revolving
doors.

I fell,
I died
and of course I lied.
For I was never a fan of Superman
but Batman after all.

' I know this isn't considered poetry in many peoples opinion, nor do I expect anyone to understand it. It's different, I just ask when people read this to consider that not everything has to be a tessellation pattern.

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  • 15 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Very beautiful piece, I thought it was a great free verse and extremley unique. I had very clear images as you gave off so many emotions and descriptions it just blew me away! 5/5 from me, take care and have a great weekend!

  • 15 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Very beautiful piece, I thought it was a great free verse and extremley unique. I had very clear images as you gave off so many emotions and descriptions it just blew me away! 5/5 from me, take care and have a great weekend!

  • 15 years ago

    by Timothy r

    Not Poetry? I don`t know about that, I loved the piece genuinely. I have written things that aren`t done by specific forms or guidelines. I thought this was truly a great poem, revolving doors, a great title indeed. Timothy r

  • 15 years ago

    by NyellMoonlight

    First off, I am completely open minded for this. I have several pieces written this way, but I haven't posted them here yet.

    First Stanza- The beginning (first line of the poem) is brilliant. After those words, I just had to continue reading. It's like telling a retrospective story, and it's also so powerful as a metaphor.
    The first stanza is my favorite one. I love every line. The wording seems simple but it created such effective atmosphere. I like the hint of narration, too. Whole first stanza seems so mysterious, and I couldn't wait to see how it continues.

    Second Stanza- "touched me lips"-- did you mean "touch my lips".
    I think that you should put a semi colon after "I told him once", because it becomes so powerful with longer pause there when it's read out loud.
    Overall, this is great continuation of the piece. At first, I thought that the repetition could be done better, but when I read it twice I realized it shouldn't be changed, it's effective as it is. I like the imagery here, too. I like how you developed the story from the first stanza.

    Third Stanza- I find this interesting. Whole poem sounds like some nightmarish dream to me, and this part fits that interpretation, too.
    I don't like the repetition of 'door' in the first line, because you have the word "doors" again as the ending of the stanza. Other than that, it's quite powerful.

    Fourth Stanza- I like this. I don't know why, but it made me smile. I certainly didn't expect it to end this way, but the surprise factor is a good thing lol I like how you connected it to previous stanza with rhymes.

    Overall, I like this. It is different as you said, but definitely in a good way.

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