Wow certainly you have penned down a heart felt, tearjerking poem. I can really feel the mother's pain of losing her child. It is certainly sad indeed that this war is going on and innocent people becomes the victime. Certainly you have beautifully illustrate the agony of mother losing a child and penned it down putting yourself in her shoe. I also like the idea of how you infuse and make the comparison of the Virgin Mary losing her son with this mother also losing her son.

But take note...

Where is God?, where are YOU? come and SEE

tts the only thing tt i wanna highlight...

But overall . You have done a spectacular job.It was certainly a delightful to read.

Excellent
5/5 from me

^^^ perhaps you might wanna put question marks...like this

Where is God, where are YOU come and SEE

This is heartfelt and really moving, I could really picture the atrocities that have been happening. I feel that the message and the tone of the poem were fantastic, but the last stanza, to me, is a bit weak compared with the rest of the poem. The last line doesn't make sense gramatically.
But great stuff man

:'( no words to say :'(

Moucha.....*cries*

My friend...men takes lives that God gave and for what? a stupid piece of land?
Why can't we see that a life is more precious that a piece or dry soil? How come we don't see that the child of our "enemy"is loved by his mama in the exact same way as we are loved by our mother? How come we are so blind and arrogant to think our people are superiour to that of the "enemy"?
We are all children of God, Allah, Jehova..we are all one.
Your poem is beautiful, my dear. I will nominate it if I have a vote left and otherwise I will do so next monday.

*hugs*

5/5 Ingrid

Amazing...Truely amazing !
I loved it.. It was well written & beautifully penned ! Great poem & a heartbreaking story !

This is heartwrenching.. What is the world coming too?

This is a really good piece.. I could feel all the emotion. I think it needs a few things changed for grammatical reasons but I don't think that really matters..

Amazing.
5/5

This is one of those poems that tugs at the readers heart. This piece is very very sad. All the children who have died in Gaza thus far is so devestating. Well done, this poem was well penned with pure sadness. I wish that situations like this one in Gaza wasnt the cause for the loss of many innocent children. Its so terrible.

5/5

Beautifully written CJ and full of emotion. Very sad and heartbreaking to read, you just brought the whole scene to life.

Well done.
*5/5*

It was like each hair of my body would straighten up with reciting each word of your poem .....

way emotional..........5/5

Wow !! amazing poem, very touching and heatbreaking. No one can possibly imagine what those mothers are going through right now whether it is one of their children or five the pain is all the same. You have done a great job with this piece, your words were strong and emotional just like your story. Good structure, and well penned. Amazing !!

5/5

Okay First off..the idea of the poem was the only good thing in it..
Honestly..I have to really criticize this poem because you hit some really wrong points here.
I want to tell you this is the lowest rate I ever given to a poem..unfortunately it had to be yours.

Your rhyming words were cliche to the extreme..you penned a piece full of rhyme..that's all..the idea didn't get to me because your way in writing wasn't too deep to catch the reader.
You forced your words way TOO much !!

"Sleep good, and rest your little head, my Hun
So I tell you the story of this country, my son"

try to focus on those words...look at the rhyme..it has a big flow which is focusing on it more than on the concept of your piece.

"Where is God! Where are YOU? Come and SEE
What their hands have done to my BABY"

Very unnecessary capitalizing in these words..it seemed like you wanted to strengthen your lines with capitalizing words that did not fit together.

"To whom I am going to sing my lullaby
How those days are going to pass by
Without you in my arms holding you tight
And rocking your cradle all days and night"

The rhyme here went really off too..I can say every part of this piece needs more work..

This is all I have in mind for now..never use poetry as in some rhyming words, or else your wording will never express what you really tend to say.

Work on that !!

Wow, this made tears come to my eyes, very emotional, and just wow, wonderfully written, the emotion is exactly what youd see in someone that lost their own child.

Wow wonderful.
Speechless, nomore words to say.

5/5

Wow this brout tears to my eye's i feel for this woman pain.

It's a meaningful poem. It was all right. Some parts I thought were strong others I thought were eh. Good job though. Four out of four.

I hate this war. i hate it soo much. all these innicent children getting hurt. :,( its weakening my heart to hear these or read these poems. 5/5

Omg this is sad

Wow you made me cry with this sad poem. But this is exactly the kind of poem we need to show the world to stop this war. You did a great job with your description of how this mother must be feeling. 5/5

This poem is so heartfelt. A wonderful piece of work. You do an amazing job at capturing emotion. Good job, and thanks for the comment. :)

To touch these tiny holes in your body, I just don't dare
I hope you tell me where it hurt I will make it go away

I could literally see the mother crying and could taste tears.you have penned a masterpiece.i couldnt hold back my tears.5

This was absolutely amazing. I could feel the emotion behind this piece, and the tears built behind my eyes. I loved it. 5/5