I suppose I can say when I first look at a piece from the first stanza, I can tell if I'm gonna enjoy it or not. Your title adds intrigue, and it was a lengthy poem with some highlights and (the problem with longer poetry) there sometimes tends to be weak spots.
You obviously have a sharp grasp on the English language, either that or you've been lucky with a thesaurus, but I doubt the latter..this is almost something you'd find in a lyric book of a progressive metal/rock band, just the way the repetition works and the archaisms. Don't think of it as a bad thing, I'm just stating my opinion. Some of it reads a bit...corny sounding at times, which is due to the grammatical structures such as:

'forever closed' instead of 'closed forever', just an example.

Your communication is lost beneath the linguistics too, I think it'd be better off in the dark poetry section to be honest. I do think it's mostly successful, but it's an obscure read, due to the language you've used and the format and form which is a bit untamed.