Well sir,

I commented on one of your other poems having been "not original" or like other poems i have read, and now I am glad to be able to give you the other end of the spectrum. This unique piece is extremely powerful, and i love every descriptive detail except the last 3 lines....

"Xylophones play in his head that startle his hairs" this line is very hard to read and takes away from the flow of the poem. It is awkward.

"Yes! he proclaims as he reaches the store
Zebra cakes are what his mom asked for "

Ok.... I know you had to use a Z for class but this poem is powerful....until you read the last line. If you can't find something that starts with a Z that could give more meaning/life to the poem, then change and dont use a Z.

The problem here is, not that the last line is "bad", but that the lines before it are so good the reader finishes the poem realizing that the climax was somewhere in the middle. You want the last line of the poem to be your knock out punch. Leave them with a desperate hungry taste in their mouth for more of your poetry.