And last night i dreamed of hell
wandering shadows lined the streets.
it was not so hot,
more like cold fire.
narrow eyes met my glances and
you were no where in sight.
this went on for sweet hours
my steps making tracks in the snow
and the cries of lovers torn
was much greater than pain.
flakes of ash
fell,
a hurricane of whispers
against the consistency
of what used to be my heartbeat.
but, yes,
there was fire.
a pit of burning bibles
to please those souls that needed pleasing.
the air wreaked
of decaying flesh
but there was no one.
i was alone in this.
the nightmare swayed
my blurred perception
and my dad's voice was soft
in my ear
he said,
"Tia, honey."
i can't help but
smile.
it's been so long
since he called me Tia.
"Wake up."
(what?!)
and like a bullet,
the words ripped through me.
dream over
reality was leering
on my bed.
and last night i dreamed of hell
wandering shadows lined the streets.
it was the coldest January
of my life
but i would have given my soul
to stay there.
be there.
no.
hell wasn't fire,
or screams.
i tried not to cry
but tears seem to have
a mind of their own.
his voice was still in my heart.
sort of kept that damn thing beating.
on time.
steady.
i guess i was still
dreaming.
because his hand caught the saltwater
on my cheek
big hands,
strong hands
but, God, so gentle.
i'd teach you a lesson
in concept.
don't reach for something that's not there.
i tried to cup
his hand in mine, but Love, he was no more.
and that's when i woke up
really
slowly.
made my way to consciousness.
you looked at me.
gave a crooked smile.
and pulled me closer,
said, "Baby, you had a nightmare?"
i kissed you, soft.
twice.
on the lips.
said,
"no, hun. did i scream?"
your eyes are just too caring.
fingers running
through my tangled hair.
you remind me so much of him.
can't help but breathe
a little too heavy,
and look at the ring
on my finger.
a lasting impression.
but not more than the drop around my neck.
i feel the need to
touch that, too.
it's been so long.
so long.
life has handed me joy since then,
smiles and
laughter.
until your memory shattered the glass
and last night
when i cried
in hell.
