Tangled in your lies

"Drink your medicine, thickly sweet
Gulp it greedily from mother's teat.
Liquid essence devours the feast,
Weaving waves of cerebral heat"
`Wow, Darcy.. quite the variety of word choice used here.. very impressive. The rhyme and flow were great too.. not many words for this amazing stanza.. a powerful start to say the least.. great work. :]

"I savoured the sermons that you told,
Such brackish nectar cloaked in gold."
`I like the format of the poem, its something different.. and it seems to be working okay. Consistant with the rhyme and flow and everything else is connecting together very well. Not much to say, but a great poem. Word usage fits the poem well.

"Your wispy mist devoured reason,
Controlled my core, burned my freedom"
`I loved the word burned, this kind of makes the reader go ouch, because you feel the pain that the writer does. Devoured really helps with this emotion as well, great work!

"Save me from reproachful power
Cyanide sprayed from your tower
Sickly sour your saccharine shower
Revealing you..
...the darkest flower."
`Amaziiing ending.. woow. Sickly shower and saccharine shower - great similes!!

Impressive write.
left me speechless,
5/5.

I heard drums when i read this poem...very excellent!

I love how in this poem you're angry, but it isn't bluntly obvious, as in you don't for once say 'I am angry', but such use of negative lexis and fantastic word choice is all we need as a reader to understand the anger portrayed.

'Brackish nectar' was fantastic, such phrases are awe inspiring lol!

I love how it quickens up in the third stanza, we really get the anger showing through with that couplet, you made great use of rhyme, something I've become more cynical about - it did not once seem flawed or hackneyed in any way.

I'm actually gonna add this to my favourites - not to appear gushing, just this has such powerful lines!

'Cyanide sprayed from your tower
Sickly sour your saccharine shower'

Again, that use of sibilance, it's not soft though like in your haiku, it's spitting, and furious, I love it. Great work Darcy, really great.

Wonderful.
exceptional detail.

Thats frkn awesome!!!