Wow certainly this is a very beautiful collab. How your both your words intertwine with each other is juz amazing.I couldn't tell who wrote which line.The two of you has cetainly painted a beautiful picture of nature.The imagery that you guys had in mind ofr this poem certainly gives me this paradise feel.

Excellent Job to the both of you
5/5 from me

I must say I'm a bit disappointed. I guess in a good way. The poem wasn't what I was expecting because of the title.

You have an amazing poem though, I just expected something refreshing,rather than downing.

Amazing, vivid imagery. You've got it going on in this poem. My mind played tricks on me with the title, but it does suit the poem. And, the poem itself is amazing

I know you asked for 'constructive' crictism, but I'm afraid I can't give any.

EXCEPT:

"Cool crisp water whispers as it whirls smoothly"

- I like this line. BUT, I think it's too short for the rest. I didn't go into detail with the syllable count and count every line. But this line seems as if it's missing something.What that something is.. is the WOW word. That gives it that touch of nature. Like gardenias, lush terrian, or diamond dust. Every line has that 'wow' factor about it. But, this line doesn't. How you can change that? I'm not quite sure. It fits okay with the poem, it doesn't ruin it or anything. Actually, I think it makes it a bit more simplistic. But at the same time this poem doesn't seem to be simplistic rather emotional (in earthly ways).

Temps,

this is an outstanding piece, so richly descriptive and all together whole. a worthy piece indeed.

1st stanza,
In this opening stanza I see you sweeping the vines away and your first inspection/ impression of the scene is what you describe. In three lines we know the lake is a trek through a forest/ woodland, probably unseen by human eyes. Maybe only angels have seen such a place?
Ahead your attention is drawn to not one, but two waterfalls. I see these as symetrical and identical, a perfect balance in this place of pure harmony. The water is clear, unpolluted. Light penetrates it with ease and brings it to life with an ever moving grace of changing shades of greens, blues and sparkling white.

2nd Stanza,
After your first initial inspection, you step closer, listen more intently and generally absorbe more of this ideallic paradise.
Firstly the water is heard as it crashes into the lake, then spreads out into the refreshing water, createing a sound that is both musical and hypnotic.
I like how you describe the birds song as 'voices' it is true they are communicating. They are communicating love, to firstly attract a mate and secondly to keep others away, although I should imaging that in a paradise such as this all animals would be blessed with a loving mate, so no need for threats here, just beautiful song!

3rd Stanza,
After taking in the nature of this blissful place, eyes are drawn to a sky of mesmorising blue. This sky has a clarity and crispness that lends itself perfectly to this lake and its surrounding habitat. The flowers all seem to be in full bloom and their vivd colours radiate their essence.
From sky to earth. There is no pathway, no, there is only soft plants, grass maybe to walk upon. each step is like stepping through deep feathers, soft and sumptuous.

4th Stanza,
Here in this final stanza we have a list of specifically picked flowers. A favourite of someone special, perhaps? Their essence is rich and together their aromas mix into a heavenly blend of scent that fills a persons heart with joy and timeless happy memories.
The sun is such a reliable energy force, but also a reliable one, one that we know each day we rise we shall see. It gives and support life, life such as this paradise.
Who created such a sun, such a paradise? Now that is what I call devine intervention and who would not want to spend their days in this heaven? I certainly would!

Well done on this collaboration, you both have clearly shown that you have the most amazing imaginations and you can describe such images so vividly.
A sign of a high quality collaboration is when the reader can't tell who wrote which part. I couldn't, so well done.

Take care

Michael

"A lake hidden among the tangle of vine laden trees"

I really like how you open this piece, it gives the reader an idea of what you're saying, but has them very entranced and wondering whats next.

"Dual waterfalls cascading into the crystalline water"

Flawlessly worded line, this really flows perfectly and the images you used blew me away! Nice work.

"White sand glistens in the sun like diamond dust"

Good simile, I am loving every single bit of this collab nature poem.

"Cool crisp water whispers as it whirls smoothly
Distinct voices of birds hover over echoing throughout
creating a divine environment of unforgettable nature"

Excellent work, again, the wording you used set the scene perfectly, and this has to be one of the best nature poems ever, you both should be very proud.

"Glossy blue skies overhead inject serenity into the scene
As the spring breeze caresses each blossomed flower
Lush terrain surrounds cushioning the ground with delicacy"

My favorite part, the unique wording you use is different in a good way. I like how you both don't use the same descriptions and words as others, but creates unique and original images. I am completely speechless, I have seriously entered another fantasy world when I was reading this.

"Gardenias, ginger lilies, and orange jasmine permeate the air"

Nice examples, not just sight that you describe but scent too.

"Sun rays filter through the trees mirroring off the water
Nature untouched by the destructive hand of man"

Beautiful ending, no errors that I saw, you have both done amazing and should hold your head up high! Temps- your nature poems are such a joy for me to read upon and I'm so happy to read this, I will be sure to comment on TJ's too. 5/5 from me, take care.