I put on that smile for you
As you tell me what's really going on
But I can hardly contain the pain
I feel as if it's spilling over,
And I'm surprised that you can't see it
See the blood spilling over the edges
See the tears and sweat mingling on my face
But then I remember that it's all inside
And outside I'm still smiling
Telling you, "why would I be mad at you?
I'm fine with it."
Somehow I know I'm about to break
So I get up, making an excuse,
And rush to a lonely place
Where you can't see me
Where no one can see me
And I sob, oh I sob and I sob
I pray to Goddess to make it end
To take away the intense love I feel
That is putting me through this
But even as I ask for it,
I know it can never be
Because I do not want it to be
I want to feel this love
This happy, yet painful, love
This love that makes my blood sing
Even as my heart breaks
This love that kills me slowly
Even as I'm smiling in pleasure
I cry and I sob and I wail
Silently, oh so silently
Like I'm locked in a room
Where everything must be silent
Or everything will fall apart
The furniture, the house, the town, the world
My sanity, my precious self-control
That keeps me from picking up the knife
That keeps me from breaking
And I hope that you can't sense
Where I am and what I'm doing
Because if you ever saw me like this
I'd never be able to hide again
And hiding is the only way
I can presently keep from breaking...
