by Mask of Pain Jan 24, 2009
category :
Sadness, depression /
other
Crying for him, unable to bare the pain. I don't want to hurt him, like others have hurt me. I no longer wish to be here. I want to runaway with Robert and living in perfect harmony. |
by Teria
Personally, I don't mind the paragraph type form, but at the same time I've never really seen those as poetry. It would work as a prose. But I'd suggest structuring this differently, somehow. Other than that it flows well, the words seem to go nice together. Of course when structuring it (if you do) then you might have to work with it a bit, but overall it's a good piece. Just looks a bit odd? But, oddness is okay sometimes, lol |
by Jenni Marie
"I cry for him, I can't bear the pain " |