by Jenni Marie
"I cry for him, I can't bear the pain " |
by Teria
Personally, I don't mind the paragraph type form, but at the same time I've never really seen those as poetry. It would work as a prose. But I'd suggest structuring this differently, somehow. Other than that it flows well, the words seem to go nice together. Of course when structuring it (if you do) then you might have to work with it a bit, but overall it's a good piece. Just looks a bit odd? But, oddness is okay sometimes, lol |